This is really causing me to want to go out and kill myself. Kind of a rant, I really want advice.. but I want to get my thoughts out as well. So as I have been blasting all over the relationships forum I recently lost someone I really loved. There are many reasons as to why so I won't go into them. Needless to say that now that I cannot have her, I feel a lot more distant to her. I think it is because I long for the physical intimacy that we once had. However, I still feel in my heart that I really care for her. So why can't I just be her friend? There are many things I can think of that keep me confused. Enter in another girl I recently met online. She is really nice and sweet and drop dead gourgous in my eyes. I do not know how she feels about me. Anyway when I think about hanging out with her I have one end goal in mind, sex. I like her and want to get to know her. However, I cannot get past this want to have sex with her... to make her my woman. I feel that if I don't... well then I will start to distance myself from her... life will seem less fun. My other friend told me the same thing. She said once we stopped having sex, it seemed like I was having less fun with her. I think in some small way I was. I am scared the same thing will come to pass with this new female. I will have fun with her for a bit however as my chances of sleeping with her dwindle I will start to distance myself from her and become frustrated with her. So I guess my question is, why can't I just be friends with females? I mean without some kind of barrier in front of me? Why is it that I have to constantly lust after each girl I am with and ruin my relationships? It just makes me sick that I hold women in such low regard. That they are useless to me unless I am sleeping with them. I really hate myself for it. It is taking everything I have to stave off the urge to go out and hang myself.