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Why can't I just die.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Metallica*Melinda, Nov 17, 2007.

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  1. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    I dont know why but it doesnt matter what I do, I try to kill myself and it never works... people either end up finding me or stopping me temporarily... I do want to die and I dont know why I just can't die. I'm sick of the pain I feel everyday... I'm so sick of hurting so much. I dont want to be ignored anymore, I want to be loved... I want to be NORMAL. But I know none of that will ever happen...
    I have so much on my plate right now, I used to have an eating disorder and its starting to come back. The voices keep telling me Im not worth it. I get ignored everywhere I go... and I am going to be homeless again pretty soon because I was too depressed to continue with my work. I only got off the streets a few months ago after a stint in rehab then jail :mug: ... then I got a job, I was sort of feeling okay, I definitally felt better without the drugs and I thought things would be okay, but I stayed for a month and had to quit because I was really messed up (thats a long story though...). Anyway... I just cant deal with all this b.s. I cant stop cutting myself, it gets worse everyday, and just recently I was taken to the hospital to get my stomach pumped and get 120 odd stitches... they caught me too soon, I just wanted to die... but oh no I just can't... :badday:
  2. DynamiteKid

    DynamiteKid Well-Known Member

    life truly does suck. listening to Metallica seems to be the only enjoyment in life! i've been trying to kill myself too for awhile now. hope i get the job done soon.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: Melinda. Sorry you are feeling so bad.

    :hug: Kid

    Please both stay safe
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