i can't stand it. i use a belt for crying out loud but not even that works. i keep asking god to let me die but i don't think that he'll let me. i'm not important. i have no use to anybody. i try and help people but then i really can't help them at all...people would rather leave me than to let me talk to them and if no one wants to listen to me then i have no importance and then i'm just better off dead. i can't take it anymore. i've planned it all out but it'll be years before i can carry out my plan and i can't wait that long. i want to die now. i mean like right now. well, i have to give christmas presents to my family and friends but after i do that then i want to die right at that moment. i have no use to anyone and i just want to die. and yes this is a cry for help so if anyone cares at all help me. either help me die or help me live i don't care. just do one or the other.