why can't I just die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by morning rush, Feb 23, 2010.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I just want to die..why oh why can't I accomplish this? my life sucks and I dont have the energy to make it better...I just want to crawl into a hole and die...or maybe I should hire a hitman or something...

    who would want to be with someone like me...no one...I'm a loser, with nothing in her life...so why not just end it...please god give me the strength to end it...once and for all...:blub:
  2. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    Maybe this world isnt ready for you to leave yet, you have so many friends here who need you and want you to stick around :hug:
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: Things are difficult right now. We all understand. But, like Lexi said, you have many friends here, and we would miss you.
  4. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    Although i know how you feel, it hurts so much to hear you say these things. i wish i could take all of everybodys pain away. :hug:
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    just tried to go out..well thought that if I went to the store, the fact I'd get fresh air it might help but only made it worse...

    I was seriously concidering buying that gouda cheese I'm severly allergic to...but I remember last time I ate that I was in a foreign country and my throat swelled to the point I could hardly breathe and I had no idea how to get to the hospital...

    I'm just so tired...so tired of it all...I want to scream and I want to break everything in my appartment...I was outside looking in the pharmacy window where all the perfumes were and I just wanted to go in there and shatter them all...just throw them all over the place...

    why is it so painful to live? what's the point? an entire life of pain, can you see yourself getting to 90 years old and all you did was suffer all the time...

    I'm all alone, I've got no one...what a sad loser I am...
  6. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    u are not a loser. i can guarantee most ppl have felt as you do now. including me. just remember we are all here for you. for eachother. :hug:
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I just can't do this anymore...I want it to end...no one is going to miss me...and everyone is better off without me...that I am certain...I bring nothing to the world...absolutely nothing...
  8. A loser

    A loser Well-Known Member

    I feel the exact same way. Want to make a pact?
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sounds like a lot of anger in there.....
    my councelor told me yesterday to get the anger out as soon as possible..
    have you heard the saying?...
    Anger internalised=depression..
    she told me to go to the op shop and buy a heap of cheap plates, write my crap on them and then break them.....safely ...
    I hope you don't end your life....stay here and talk to us...
  10. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    yes I think I have alot of anger inside me...there was a time in my life, in my teens and childhood, I wasn't allowed to be angry by my dad and then well I didnt want to be angry because I thought it was a bad emotion and I was afraid to be as violent as my dad...

    now though I dont think its a bad emotion but I think maybe unconsciously still push anger deep inside...

    I am feeling a bit better...yesterday was such a hard day...I was so sad and down...I cried, and cried...it was really too much...

    I'm ashamed at how I was yesterday...
  11. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: Aching is the first stage of suffering. I am so glad that you were able to dry some of that anger away. Stay strong, and lean on us when you have hard times.
  12. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    im so glad you feel better today lovely. im here if you need me still though :smile: :hug:
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