why can't i just forget?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Wastingecho, Sep 11, 2010.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    both times

    in the city both times the towers were attacked

    first time close enough to hear the explosion in the garage, smell the smoke

    second time in midtown watching on tv, down in the street watching the smoke, hearing the jets screaming overhead, monitoring and posting all the mass-transit updates internally so people in the company would know how they could get home

    didn't even know my friends had worked in the towers until a year later - a year

    pat was a great kid - knew his brother for 7 years, marched together

    went to school with jeff, junior high, high school - band, drum corps - lost touch - lost touch with all my friends

    he had twins and a third, like me

    parents lived in the same town as mine and move to the same town in florida as mine

    his memorial is filled with notes from his friends and relatives - mine won't be

    i don't know why he died and not me - it would have hurt a lot less people if it had happened that way then

    tried to avoid everything 9/11 today but it was pointless - it can't be avoided

    i'm a tolerant person and i know that extremists are the ones responsible, but there is a mosque around the corner and i hate myself for thinking uncharitable thoughts when i KNOW better - but it's so hard not to react on an emotional level - but my emotions are not under control - i'm not under control

    still pass the national guard everyday when i go to work, have had my backpack searched on multiple occassions, but i still don't feel safe

    i don't know if i want to live in this world
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I'm really sorry that you lost your friends. :( This day will be hard for many people. Keep reaching out. :wub:
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Why do you want to forget?
    It was traumatic, yes.
    You lost two friends.
    Forgetting it happened, forgetting your friends, is not reasonable.

    Most of us are programmed to care.
    Forgetting friends isn't a good thing...and you care.

    Trauma, the nature of it, generally does not allow us to forget. You and a good number of people, share in this trauma.

    We don't forget the event...we don't want it to happen again.

    We don't forget our friends, we don't want them forgotten.
    We focus on the positive memories of them. We tell others about them.

    We talk about the trauma we experienced, as difficult as it is to do. Over time, it helps us desensitize to a certain degree.

    We talk. We share. We support each other. Hopefully over time we heal a little.

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    everyone will grieve differently some with anger like you. we have aright to our anger our dispair it is what will get us through this tragedy that has passed
    Your life is just as important as theirs were never belittle you because of the loss you feel Your friends would not want that. I hope you have friends near you now to give you support you need take care
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Sorry to hear that your friends were killed in the 9/11 terror act. :sad:
  6. Glastonbury

    Glastonbury New Member

    I think you need councelling.

    I was in a now forgotten war nearly 30 years ago. I saw death. I fired weapons. I survived.

    It is hard to view life the same ever again after something like that.

    But with help you can get through it.

    And do not let it turn to anger - anger is the most damaging emotion.

    But the lunacy of this kind of violence leaves with an anger you cannot direct.

    A mosque did not kill these people. Moslems did not kill these people. I know many moslems; peaceful loving family people.

    Talking about how you feel is the very best thing you can do. You are not alone.
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