I had an appointment with my shrink yesterday (still haven't gone to sleep yet). I went home feeling a little better about myself afterwards, then the hopelessness caught up with me. My shrink said to me "you don't know how intelligent you are" but I feel like I am the stupidest human being alive. I can't make any correct decisions to save my soul. I ruminate on all the poor decisions I have made in the past. The only memories I have are that of a barren life. My youth is gone. No merry memories sustain me. When I was a kid, I had this delusion that life was a dream. I really wish I would just "wake up."