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i am so self destructive. i keep on pushing friends away. i have done this virtually every year, abandon my old group of friends and move onto some others. of course, this means i'm always a bit of an outsider.
Never could keep friends, or even acquaintances on good terms anymore. And what's worst of all now, is that geographically the people I associate with are further and further away from where I live, meaning I feel like I'm just spreading bad me around further and further, so I'm expanding the radius of people who don't want to associate with me.
When you say you push them away, do you mean you stop seeing them or you treat them bad and they stop seeing you? I think either way you don't want to be with them. I have the same "problem" but I don't see it as a problem. I feel like it's a big deal when I'm going to meet a friend and I would rather not meet them most of the times. I've also stopped seeing some old friends. Although I still see a few friends, being alone is the best for me
Ive always done the same thing, pushed them away. Either they move on we stop seeing each other or I purposely seclude myself from everyone. Its mainly because I feel so inadequate around other people, like I dont really deserve to be associating with them, and that they look down on me, which im sure after a while they would. I mean shit im 33 for fucks sake, and look where Im at? It would be funny if it wasnt so sad.