Why can't I speak to you..... mum...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by meaningless-vessel, Jun 12, 2013.

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  1. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    ...

    I have no idea why I hold myself back. Maybe I'm doing this because I don't want to talk about me?

    You've been through a lot in your life. You have a sister, a son, a niece all with mental health issues. A brother who lives in the Netherlands, who has an artificial leg.

    On top of that you have lost both parents, and the man you married at the age of 18 (who you met when you were 16.. on this date, june 12th, 37 years ago now) - walked out on you/divorced you. All within the space of 9 years (dad died 92, mum died 94, partner walked out 9th june 97, divorce finalised 13th june 01).

    Now I don't know how best to explain it. Do I really want to add my burden onto you? You feel bad because I don't have the level of friends that my siblings have.

    And yet through it all... I cannot understand how you still, tirelessly, put your family before yourself. Even when there is so little interaction from some of them. It hurts me to know you get low, as much as it hurts you when I do.

    It's a communication barrier. I need to find a way to understand me to be able to understand why I don't communicate outwardly.

    Help?
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Dear Unimportant, your signature is "some things are better left unspoken". Why did you choose it? Is it something your mother would agree with? There's an old barrier in the way. The barrier of old habits. Your mother may have the same difficulty you do. That barrier may need to be recognised before it can be pushed out of the way. You might, if your mother is willing, talk with a facilitator to start you on a new way. Best wishes for however you decide to deal with the issue.
     
  3. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Should I be able to take inspiration from all of that though? And that she's refused to get herself signed off with depression, should that be a useful approach?

    I dunno. I just think I'm not doing much right, for me.
     
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