the past few weeks of my life have been okay. I haven't been happy i should say, but just not depressed at all. i was able to think clearly, i just felt more confident. But now I'm back to being all down all the time. Now when i hang out with my friend things are just awkward because suddenly I'm a totally different person than who i was a couple days ago, where i was telling funny jokes, able to relate in someway to what he was saying. Now I'm back to not giving a fuck about anything so i have no opinions or anything that i want to contribute, i just want to sit there quietly. i try to ignore it and act normal, but i just then start sounding awkward as I'm not a very good actor. whats the point of life if I'm going to have to endure this constant cycle? during the period where i was feeling alright, it was reflecting in every i did, from conversing with people, solving problems, i was doing everything so efficiently. now when I'm depressed, I'm a complete idiot, i cant think or reason properly, have conversations or anything. I'm being dumbed down so to speak by depression. i think I'm going retarded sometimes.