It has occurred to me that a lot of my depression is based on my loneliness. Now when I was in middle school, I was pretty much picked on mercilessly, pretty much by everyone. *Ever wonder what happens to that happy quiet kid, who the kids make sport out of tormenting him**points to self** Anyways, now that I am an adult, I have SO much trouble letting people get close. I am a very friendly person, but I feel like I always have this wall up. It's so real, it's almost like I can touch it and feel it. I mean is this why I don't have ANY close friends? I have close friends from my home town, but in my new home, I have no one close. I always blamed it on other people, not giving me enough time to really get to know them, but I am realizing that the problem may be more related to me. Sometimes I feel like I am absolutely mental. Like I must be paranoid. I just wish I could trust people a little more. I don't want to be friends with everyone, but I wish I could just let a few people in.