Why can't we have peace. without the guilt of punishing loved ones and friends left behind? How many times to scream through tears "How am I supposed to go on without you?" Or listen to well-meaning, but inane, questions from those who never had a catastrophic loss."Why don't you get a pet?" "Why don't you take walks?" 'you could join a club, or a church?" They have no idea of the effort it takes to control the fury inside, that only lets go it's grip so grief can find a spot, and loneliness works its way in to feed, along with the feeling, not only cheated myself, but my wife denied years from her life and family that won't see her again Life turned upside down and being criticized that I'm wasting my life by not moving on. Pissing my life away, precious years. Guess what ? They're not very precious to me. They're ticks of the clock to be agonized through. Senseless life without purpose. Ans someone, supposedly speaking for my wife "Well, don't you think she would want you to be happy? " Probably, if that's really the option, but I'm pretty damn sure she would NOT want me tortured like this. But the crap about my wife's wishes (from someone who has no idea anyway) comes from someone who has never seen the same type of loss, and I'm glad that they're blessed in their ignorance and don't even know it. But maybe if it does happen to them, there will come a moment of understanding, while other people advise THEM to move on with their lives, their moving on will be existence while hating life.