Why can't we just die of a broken heart?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by 1Lefty, Mar 11, 2012.

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  1. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Why can't we have peace. without the guilt of punishing loved ones and friends left behind? How many times to scream through tears "How am I supposed to go on without you?"

    Or listen to well-meaning, but inane, questions from those who never had a catastrophic loss."Why don't you get a pet?" "Why don't you take walks?" 'you could join a club, or a church?"

    They have no idea of the effort it takes to control the fury inside, that only lets go it's grip so grief can find a spot, and loneliness works its way in to feed, along with the feeling, not only cheated myself, but my wife denied years from her life and family that won't see her again

    Life turned upside down and being criticized that I'm wasting my life by not moving on. Pissing my life away, precious years. Guess what ? They're not very precious to me. They're ticks of the clock to be agonized through. Senseless life without purpose. Ans someone, supposedly speaking for my wife "Well, don't you think she would want you to be happy? " Probably, if that's really the option, but I'm pretty damn sure she would NOT want me tortured like this.

    But the crap about my wife's wishes (from someone who has no idea anyway) comes from someone who has never seen the same type of loss, and I'm glad that they're blessed in their ignorance and don't even know it. But maybe if it does happen to them, there will come a moment of understanding, while other people advise THEM to move on with their lives, their moving on will be existence while hating life.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Lefty :arms:
    I so understand what you're saying and I don't have an answer on ''moving on''

    This life for me is just 'existence' too...and I don't know why I haven't died from my broken heart ..
    there seems to be some part of us that won't give up...perhaps the part that cares for the loved ones we'll leave behind.

    Lord knows I gave up on myself long ago but the body isn't hearing the brain!
  3. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I feel so similar to the way you do...
    people say a lot of things without thinking...they have no idea of the pain that keeps growing every day again... it keeps hurting...
    and it hurts even more if people say 'to go on' with your life...they mean it well... but they better say nothing...things as "you are still young and you will find someone else"... they just better give you a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear...they better show that they care for you then saying such 'stupid' things but they don't know better...i suppose :(
  4. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, both of you, that carry the pain that lets you understand. Just know you're not alone, someone else is working at the same burden. I've even been told that I was chosen for this experience, that somehow it makes me more worthy to others...........ah, they're all just theories maybe we'll know the answer some time.

    You're welcome to PM me anytime, or anyone that knows the loss.
  5. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    It certainly doesn't feel like being more worthy to others...
    I feel rather worthless and totally empty and broken... things like that never can be repaired...the loss is something you carrie on your lifetime long...just hope it ends soon...it's so hard to live with...
    (sorry for complaining...but I know so well how it's feeling...how it hurts...)
  6. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I don't think you're complaining at all. And that bit about being chosen and more worthy is an opinion that came from someone else, not me.
    I suppose I've filled about 10 notepads with my thoughts, memories, letters to my wife. I don't know if it helps or not, it's just something I do..
  7. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    A few months after Cedric has died I also have started to write my feelings, thoughts, memories...everything we had shared together down...
    But it made me more and more depressed...because I realized that it are only sweet or less sweet memories...he won't come back...it won't bring him back...our story shall never be continued...a big part of me died with him...
    I know it's a chapter of my life I have to close...but I can't...my heart still belongs to him...it will be for ever...it will never change...
    Writing everything down pushed me with my nose on the facts...made me realize what I have lost...what I never will have again...and it hurts so much...I miss him so terribly...even after more then 4 years...I miss him every second...I want so badly to be with him...

    I am glad that writing things down is usefull for you...that you maybe...perhaps...find any consolation in it...so please keep writing...for me it doesn't work...
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