Why is a men's desire for a woman called dirty if unwanted, but it's a measure of love otherwise? It's the same feeling, the same unstoppable feeling, but it gets tarred with a different brush if the woman doesn't see you as a sexual possibility. I live. I breathe. I want. Unfortunately, because I can't get. But I refuse to accept that this is dirty. Why is wanting to put my arms around a girl's waist dirty, or to kiss her shoulder, or to blow on her ear, or to count her freckles, or to trace her spine with a fingernail, or to feel the fuzz on her face when it glows under a backlight. But oh no, not even "he looks at me in a dirty way". It's "He's dirty."
Brainstorm, being a woman, I made up my mind long ago. I want a man that will do exactly what you described. I dont think it's dirty but rather a rarity. I've never known love like that and know now I never will. So what good did making up my mind do? Just another dream shattered. So many women have made up their mind but realize a man capable of such love is a treasure to hold and keep and very rare to find.
itmahanh: the feeling I'm describing isn't love. It's desire. I can't love women, I envy them, I'm frustrated by them, I'm mad at them for not noticing me or for cautioning me when they find me staring at them: "Go cool off somewhere, OK?" And yes, I realize that was a warning, in a friendly way. I also feel like this desire is all I have to give to them, that otherwise I have no redeeming qualities or anything to add to the life of someone else, no big group of friends, no great life experience, so when they refuse this desire I'm left feeling entirely discarded. It seems this wanting is all I am. And don't think for a moment that I don't want to get girls into bed. It's just that I'm scared sh!tless of intimacy and need to take baby steps towards it. In fact, I almost feel physical pain when a girl touches me. I certainly feel mental pain.
