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Why continue when I am dead already

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#1
this poem I wrote is my daily thoughts and life

I'm sitting here all alone and yet again
I'm thinking of my life my past being relived
all I can see is pain, and a lot of tears
That's how I remeber my life hurt, sadness, suffering and sorrow
Many days that my tears bled inside of my brave face
my hope has all gone , evaporated like a puddle in the sun
I want to say goodbye for everyday I live I start again and die inside
How could anyone ever love someone who is already dead.

My journey to this end was a long process starting from being molested for 3 years as a child ,drinking ,partying, living wreckless and wild then to having loved and been destroyed now 3 times in my life I am divorced she did cheat she hid it from me for our entire marriage then just confessed one day 11 years dissolved in one moment after we were apart I was diagnosed with leukemia I died for 82 seconds and am here today but I know somehow that it was my time and I have cheated death I am at peace with my decision the joys of life long since past and all that is left is my own personal hell on earth I am hollow with nothing left I am truly ready this time.
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#2
Hi and welcome...many of us know what it is like to walk around like 'the living dead', and many of us, myself included, now have a life worth living...please know that there are ppl here for you to share your story with and gain/give insight and support...welcome again, J
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
been there too hun but there is a way back okay hang out here we care make new friends you will see people care here You can pm me anytime hugs
 
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