I think I'm done. I just fucking wish my father would have had the decency to wear a condom on that god forsaken night. I am an abomination. There should be a law that prohibits 2 ugly people from fucking, to prevent disasters like me from having to suffer an empty life. There is not a single part of my body that is not completely repulsive to another human. I had some small glimmer of hope that I wasn't as ugly as I thought, but I now know the truth. WHY THE FUCK AM I ALIVE?!?? The only reason I am alive is because my main goal in life is to have my own family one day. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! I will never have a wife, girlfriend or kids. I really did want to, but no one will ever want to be with me, and besides that, I could never torture my child to live a life of ugliness like I am. The world turns its back on disgusting people like me. I can't live the rest of my life alone. I swear to god I will end up dead in my bathtub. I have so many ways to do myself in. I am right on the edge right now, and I can see the ground below. I have an intense headache right now, like my brain is going to explode out of my skull. I hope I have an aneurysm and die. Please god, let it happen, I can't live like this.