why did i stop ..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by whybother?, Jan 25, 2009.

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  1. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    well i went 2 days without self harming, almost killed myself becuz of it, just went for a bath and sliced my arm up pretty bad, but im not suicidal anymore! so all this time ive been suicidal i cud of just s/hed and feel alot better, but ppl make me feel guilty about s/hing, but now i remember how damn good it feels to s/h to hell with them ppl :mad:
  2. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    You sound like me, i have come to the same conclusion. Not s/hing just because other people don't like me doing it left me in intensive care and as much as i hate to admit it i'd rather have a few scars and people fed up with me and actually manage to have a few reasonable days where i don't feel like ending it all. Maybe i'm just selfish to want that but i'm past caring.

    I'm glad you didn't go through with killing yourself and are feeling better.
  3. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    im glad im not the only 1 who feels the same way, yea its selfish but we gotta be selfish sumtimes ..
  4. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Its true i just wish a few more of my friends and my ex-bf could understand that
  5. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    yea my ex g/f realllllly hates the idea of me self harming, i cant blame her but she doesnt understand its either that or i die ...*sigh*
  6. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    I have realised that the only way anyone will understand properly is if they are s/hing themselves.

    If anyone should have understood it was my ex, he was depressed too but he came to the same conclusion as everyone else, that i was attention seeking because i wasn't actually killing myself.

    I spent 3 years keeping him alive everytime he decided he couldn't take it anymore, but he didn't want me to s/h, hated the scars, said it was pointless.

    Life story over lol i'm better off on my own anyway. :smile:
  7. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    my ex g/f says the same, says im an attention seeker and i need to ''grow up'' but i still do it without telling her, i know she knows i still do it tho.. *sigh*

    and ur not better of by urself, i'll be here if u wanna chat :)
  8. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Amazing how people all jump to the 'attention seeking' opinion.

    My parents obviously agree that i am better off on my own coz they've decided that i should move back out, think it will be for the best if i am away from my younger brothers apparently i am a bad influence.

    Thanks for the offer to chat lol u might just live to regret it tho :smile:
  9. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i am an ex sh'mer and did some pretty gross things looking back.
    i stopped with therapy and finding alternative techniques. my scars are ugly, i have nerve damage.. it isnt worth it. i know for some it is the lesser of two evils but ultimately it is something you have to stop at sometime before youdo serious damage..
  10. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    I self harm, but I don't go to the point where I need to be put in intensive care.
    My parents, friends (who know), and relatives (who know) call me selfish as well, so I know how that feels.
    Sometimes I don't even self harm just because I'm upset, I'll do it just because I want to. How I treat my body, I believe, is my decission.

    Although I always feel horrible after I self harm, I don't know, something keeps me coming back.

    :hug:I'm always here if you want to talk.
  11. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    thats what goes on with me as well. all of it. can really relate to your post taylorisalwaysunheard
  12. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    I didn't s/h to end up in intensive care, but because i was not s/hing i stopped being able to cope with things and i ended up doing something else that i shouldn't have, but i won't go into that.
  13. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    Ahh I see.

    maybe instead of SHing, you could destroy something.
    Like rip up a piece of paper or something.
    I've done that before when the reason for self harming isn't very.. well when it doesn't seem logical.
    Like when I get upset because I stepped in snow or something.

    Crook, please private message me anytime. I would like to hear more about you :hug:
  14. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    funny u shud say about ur parents wanting u out panicmania , my parents said that to me aswell!!! they dont want me around, no1 does :(

    and i wont regret offering u to talk to me :p hehe
  15. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    Have you talked to your parents about them kicking you out?
    Do they know how much impact that will have on your life?
  16. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Really? no1 wants me around either, just makes me more determined to stay tho.
    Believe me you will, i can talk forever :p
  17. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    my parents fully know my situation and know wat im going through, and they couldnt give a flying fuck

    and thats ok panicmania cuz i hardly talk at all :p lol
  18. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    Hmm, maybe you could get a loan from someone for a short time until you will be able to get back up on your feet.
  19. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    i have no friends, and the rest of my family hate me :-(

    im in alot of debt so i cant get a loan from the bank


    no wonder i s/h every hour :( i just hope i over do it 1 time :(
  20. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member


    If you need to talk, my PM box is open:)
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