why did I want to do it if I didn't want to die?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meliisa, Nov 24, 2008.

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  1. meliisa

    meliisa Member

    Hey everyone, my name is Melissa and I just need some help understanding my actions. I've been in and out of psyke wards for 6months (my longest stay was 3 months). And looking back on what I did, ods and "attemped suicides" I don't think I was trying to kill myself. I have hurt myself about 7times enought to go to hospital and or psyke wards but I think that I really wanted to die about 3 times. Looking back now when my head is clearer I can only think that I was doing it for attention or other wize I would of done the job right. I hate to think of myself being so selfish because I wanted attention and going to such extremes. Anyone have any ideas or feel like they are in the same boat?
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    You mustn't think of yourself as being selfish for doing these things. There has to be a reason why you would go to such extreme measures. It's not simply a case of wanting attention but more a cry for help and there are times when we all need that help and support in our lives. Have you been able to talk to anyone about what made you feel like this in the first place? If not then you will find people here at the forum who will listen and because we are all in the same boat you are more likely to find someone who understands. Glad to hear you say your mind is a bit clearer these days. That's a good step forwards. Pm me anytime if you want a chat. Good luck. S.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Maliisa,
    Snowraven has given you some sound advice! I think you should talk to a therapist. It doesn't have to be long term, just to get your head straight. I am glad you are thinking clearer but you can learn coping skills to help you. It just might be enough to keep you from going thru this again. We are here for you so talk to us anytime!!!~Joseph~
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We all do the best we can...often times, when the pain is so huge, and our ability to express and deal with it, so depleted, we take actions that later look unlike ourselves (I know first hand as I have done this myself)...finding support (both peer and professional) where you can express yourself and let the feelings be affirmed before you have to take such actions may be helpful...hope you are doing better and please post here and let us know how you are doing...big hugs, J
  5. Hey most of it has been said. No body really wants to die, we just want this pain to stop. Alot of people get messed up in thoughts and suicide seems the 'easy route out'. When it could end up not all at and even worse.

    Feel free to PM me. Please take care hun :hug: .
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