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**Why didn't he understand**

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Well i been feeling really really low the past few weeks, and im stressing over my course that i need to do, theres no way in hell im gonna get it done. So i've been upset about the prospect of failing college amounst other things going on right now.

So i came on MSN and this guy i like who is 26 pops up, so we start talking and i was honest with him telling him i wasn't feeling too good. So i tried to explain what i felt.

He said:

"i know what you wanna do"
"and you better not"

then later on in the convosation i said "don't worry i don't expect you to understand"

and i got the reply:


So obviously he's pissed at me, so i ask him why and he says that hes annoyed that i keep hurting myself and saying im a bad person and i deserve this.

He expects me to drop the way i've felt all my life, the way i was made to feel just because he disagrees. He just don't understand it, so i explained about something my brother did to me, which upset me even more. But what really upset me was the fact that he's annoyed at me for the self harming, he of all people should have some idea of what its like because he has an ex who self harmed in a very similar to me, but yet he still gets annoyed. Making me feel ten times worse.

Why can't he understand that i can't just change the way i feel like that, if i could don't you think i would of by now?

Sorry for the rant, just he really upset me by getting annoyed at me.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
When someone doesn't understand something they usually react with annoyance.

How many times have you heard the words "pull yourself together" from someone who has no understanding of depression.

Or the person who says "they should be over it by now" when they have never experienced grief.

Let it go hun, he aint worth the spleen :mad:
No, he's not worth the spleeeeeeeeeen.

Don't give him that spleen, Vikki dear. You need that spleen. It's yours.

Seriously though, don't worry about what he's said. Obviously he doesn't understand. You can't really expect him to. Just keep telling yourself that he couldn't respond more sympathetically if he wanted, simply because he doesn't understand. He's never been on that side of the stream. He's never seen the water flow that way.

You know how you feel. Many others know how you feel. I, for one, know how you feel. If he doesn't, so what? Don't fret over it, sweets.


So don't give him your spleen. If you give him your spleen, he'll just eat it, anyway. You'd be better off keeping it.

Keeeeeeeeep yo spleeeeeeeeen.

And I hope things aren't too bad for ya right now.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
lol oh noes! i need mah spleen!

I really like him alot and that whats hurt. He doesn't fully understand how much he upset me like he did. Just REALLY hurt that he was pissed at me for something im addicted to, he has no idea how bad i've been recently, only some of you guys reallly know and even then you don't know to what extent.

I dunno, im confused about him now :sad:
Awww, Vikki.

Try not to worry about it too much.

Remember that he's probably not intentionally shutting you out or hurting your feelings, he just doesn't get it. Don't be too upset with him.

And DEFINITELY don't wind up getting upset with yourself.


Hope things work out for you.
Im not that upset with him, just really hurt, he upset me quite badly. First time he's ever done that. Just part of that convosation he acted like a total prick and i don't expect that off him because hes a lovely sweet guy.

Whatever surpose i should be use to getting hurt by now.


Antiquitie's Friend
Sorry I maybe missed something; a guy pops up on chat, you did not know him closely yet you allow them to irritate you if they don't get you. You should not need to explain yourself over and over and over. We all do it!! We just have to learn to know when someone cares and when they are close-minded about others or else they can be ick-selfish.
Sorry he got to you :hug:

i know him thru the internet. We talk quite often. Considering meeting him etc.

I dunno he just upset me quite badly. It over and done with now, guess ill email him tomorrow or something, explaining a few things and how much he upset me, dunno if i should or not tho :unsure:
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