Why do girls almost never complain about not having a boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by gloomy, Sep 26, 2012.

  1. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    So yeah, I've (well, AlienBeing also) noticed that there are multiple threads involving guys on this forum not having girlfriends, but you don't often see threads where girls are upset because they don't have boyfriends. In fact, a lot of, if not every girl on this forum seems to already have a boyfriend/fiance/husband, and they don't seem to be too worried about finding another if for some reason that relationship ends. If they don't have anyone, then they also don't seem to care so much about finding someone.

    It's not just this forum either… it seems to be pretty much universal-- you hear guys complaining about not being able to 'get girls', and the only complaints you hear from girls seems to involve guys that they are already involved with.

    What is it that makes the guys so desperately needy for female companionship and the girls so utterly non-desperate for male companionship? Is the girl:boy ratio in the population really that imbalanced?

  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I think most people, male or female, would like to have someone special. The current world population is almost 50-50 male / female. Perhaps men feel being unattached is a challenge to their male identity in some way? I really don't know. As an unattached woman, I'd love to have a special man in my life, but if it's not happening now, I don't feel "incomplete" without it. Maybe it's an age thing with me, too, though, as I'm older.
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    That's an excellent answer! It also may be that some feel less willing to share this deeply personal information. I doubt seriously that there is a greater lack of desire to be involved. But perhaps it's too painful to talk about, because of how much it means to them, their perceived self-worth, and overall feelings of romantic fulfillment. I don't know, I can only guess, and you've also got to consider the sample size here, plus the fact that were this a place where only men or women disclosed this type of thing--to each other, it might be different. So there may be an even greater hesitation to put yourself out there, as a girl, in the presence of guys. Who's to say! I honestly don't know too many single girls (especially perennially so) that are happy about it. But that degree of unhappiness depends soley on the individual. PS) I don't know THAT many girls very well any more... So I could be completely off my rocker!
  4. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    i wud say girls very very much want to have a significant other [at least most of us], and may as well be very unhappy about now having one. but. i see that in a sense, if a girl complained about it, it wud make her seem 'unwanted' or 'worth less'. a sort of a coping mechanism cud be the 'i don't need a boyfriend anyway'. i wud say it is indeed a very personal subject for girls, at least i kno i wud not want to discuss it. tho, i myself am sort of a 'special' case, in sense that i'm single and i intent to stay that way even tho i don't 'rly' want to. that's just so as not to hurt other people. that's also pretty personal, so i won't expand on that here. also, 'complaining about it' might come across as being 'weak'.

    hope that helped a bit.
  5. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    It's a very interesting question you raise Gloomy - and here's my 2 cents from a dinosaur who was born in the middle of last century, lol! Going back further than that tho (just!) in the beginning of time, God said "It isn't good for man to be alone" etc.... (....and the rest is history :) )....
    That might have something to do with it.
    Also, this generation is reaping (for better or worse) the social consequences of their parents and grandparents' generations - the 'free love' emancipation of women-through reliable contraception that took off in the '60's...... then, together with the explosion in house prices, where 2 incomes were needed to buy the house, families started to become smaller in size, women started going back to work when children were small - it could just be that now, some younger women are thinking "Gosh, granny had it so easy back then..... look what we're expected to do now........ earn our own money, be independent, guys expect us to "give it up" without commitment, etc..... " Girls HAVE to be more interested/concerned about their livelihood for the long term perspective, as - when you look around you - so many "long term" relationships and marriages don't make it - a man is no longer her fiscal security; in short, she feels she doesn't need the hassle of a guy in her life when she has too much else going on........ as much as she might have a large helping of granny's "nesting" instincts where women of my generation put finding a suitable and reliable husband as a top (if not the highest) priority - that was how life was back then, totally different. There is also no social 'stigma' attached to not having a relationship, or to getting divorced, so many might say "why bother?" and put it in the too-hard basket.
  6. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Females have more insecurities about broadcasting how alone and undesirable to the opposite sex they are. They also are ridiculed more for being what most would see as - whether justifiably or not - desperate or dependent upon the social or sexual validation of others. Males tend to be more sensitive to issues of their "manhood" being supposedly so inadequate, and because they're more apt at being aggressive over personal issues, they're more likely to openly express frustrations about how they can't find a mate, etc. This doesn't necessarily mean that there are less females that desire some intimate company; it's just that men are more akin to hunters and when they can't catch, they tend to be more likely to express their gripes about it than women expressing how unattractive (whether in their own minds or not) they are.

    Although I could be completely wrong, since my opinion is biased and muddied by low self-esteem.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2012
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    No I don't think you're wrong at all - all those are very good points (imo). Your opinion is very valuable, well thought through and not at all muddled hun. :) If you try to not label yourself like that, your esteem can grow honey.... start telling yourself this truth: "My esteem can grow" like a plant, then, expose it to the sun and accept the rain as necessary for its growth :)
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I think I don't talk about it as much because I've already come to terms with the fact that I won't ever be in a relationship. So I don't really see the point in complaining about it anymore.