Why do girls stay with guys who abuse them?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by HelgasAngel, Apr 13, 2013.

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  1. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    I have a few girl friends who stay with their boyfriends even though they treat them like shit. Why is that? I probably already know the answer but I'd prefer one from an actual female, especially one who has stayed with a guy like this.....it has to be more than "they just love the guy." ...Low self esteem? I just find it sad, honestly. We accept the love we think we deserve? I know there's a psychological explanation for women who are beaten and stay with the man. "battered woman syndrome.' =/
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Helga, don't you think that prurient curiosity is a little out of place?
  3. Anonymousnobody

    Anonymousnobody Well-Known Member

    Sometimes, it's just out of fear. Who will love them if the guy theyre with doesn't? If she leave him, where will she go? Or sometimes it's out of the thought that they deserve to be hit. That they're being treated as they should.

    These are just my thoughts, others may think differently...
  4. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    not really. why would it be? It's a question that's been asked a million times over. Not only that, there have been psychological studies regarding such issue. Are those studies out of place?:p I don't think so. Besides, even if it was out of place to you, why would you even respond to the post? I mean, you're free to give your opinion and I respect that ...just saying.
  5. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    yeah. it's sad that some girls are so afraid of being alone they'd put themselves through that. They'd rather get beat by the only person they think will love them.....thanks for your input.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I don't know, but I had a friend who had a really controlling and demeaning boyfriend, and he even ended up giving her a bad concussion. She said no one understood what he was really like, and even his family had warned her to stay away from him. It was so bad that the court had to separate them. I think she just thought she deserved to be treated that way, but that's sad. No one deserves to be treated like that.
  7. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Because women love to complain. If they ever found the perfect guy, they'd leave him for the diamond in the rough.
  8. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    That's unnecessary. No, all women do not like to complain. Please do not categorize half the population of the planet in a negative way like that. :grumpy:
  9. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    I think that many women who are in abusive or unhappy relationships were also abused as children. If you have grown up being abused and degraded, it becomes "normal" to you. Many may not even see it as abuse, but simply what they are use to. I think a lot of men are the same way, and stay in relationships that are not healthy, because they have been been exposed to what a healthy relationship looks like.

    I think Joyce Meyer said it best when she said that people that are hurting tend to hurt other people.
  10. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Because this forum is for those who have been abused. Curiosity belongs on Soapbox. My opinion is that you putting that question here is highly insensitive. Why should members spill their guts for idle interest on a query that as you say has been asked a million times. Looking for material for your novel?
  11. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Just to remind all posters to have some sensitivity whilst speaking about such a delicate topic. If any bickering or insults are thrown I will just close this thread, plain and simple.

    Answering the OP. It's not just as simple as leaving their abusive partner. Many women (and don't forget men are also in abusive relationships) who are in an abusive relationship tend to have a past history of abuse, whether it was physical, mental, emotional or sexual. To them, this is their norm, this is what they think they deserve and this is what they expect. They have low self-esteem. They feel they deserve it, this is what they expect from their life. This is what they are used to. There is also the fear factor, they may have tried to leave before, but their abusive partner said they'd change then as soon as they go back home, the abuse gets worse. Threats are made, many abusers threaten to destroy their lives and their family's lives if they leave. Sometimes they would rather just put up with the abuse than anyone else getting hurt or involved. Some have hope things will change, some love and only see the good side of their abusive partner.
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