Why do I, and does anyone else think they are ugly?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by HomerSimpson, Apr 22, 2013.

  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    Does anyone here feel like they are ugly? I cannot stand to look at a picture of myself, because soon as I see one I think I am just ugly and not attractive. What is funny about me is that I have competed in bodybuilding contest and getting ready to compete in my third this June, and I have ran marathons yet I feel as I am too ugly for anyone to want to ever be in a relationship with me. Why in the world do I feel like this?
  2. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    I frequently have to take the mirror in my room down because I hate looking at myself. We feel ugly because we're insecure. Why we're insecure is the real question. Figure that out and you can probably address the problem :)
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Probably low self-esteem, and being depressed can really distort how we feel about ourselves. I feel that I am hideous, but I actually am, so I guess that's different. But I hope you can one day see yourself as not being ugly.
  4. Ms_invisible

    Ms_invisible Member

    Why do we have a low self-esteem and everything else people mentioned above ... THE WORLD how it is today makes us feel that way. People set different goals in life, they make us feel ugly because of the beauty contests and evolution in make up industry and surgery etc... They promote the fact you have to change yourself even if you are beautiful the way you are. None ever looks the same but everyone has something beautiful anyway. I am going to graduate as a teacher and during my last internship with the kids aged 5-6 they were playing with barbies. I got home and checked out my own old boxes of barbies. Now compaire them... Barbie today has barely got any skin on her bones, but if you look at the dolls they made like 30 years ago, you'll be surprised about how the world changed the way people look at themselves and how they make kids see the world today as it is and not how it was years ago. Industry sets goals for us and we don't even think about it when we buy stuff or do things to make ourselves look different " better ". And because other people do use all that crap to look more beautiful, those who used to believe in natural beauty get to feel inconfident because they think they're no longer pretty ...
  5. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I agree with all of this. But knowing the "why" doesn't make a bit of difference. The standards have already been set - celebrities, pornography, airbrushed photos, models - that is what we are all exposed to. That is what beauty is expected to be now and it's extremely damaging.

    Are we ugly? No. But everything around us makes us feel that way.

    When I look in a mirror I see pale skin, dry skin, flakey skin, and no amount of foundation can cover it up. When I look at other people I see tanned skin, flawless skin, not a blemish on their faces.

    Is that in my head? No. Because I can see it with my own eyes. But it shouldn't make us ugly.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2013
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    As individuals, we are all different. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and because we are conditioned by media constraints, we aspire to be like the so called celebrities, forgetting who we truly are along the way.

    I've watched an episode of a show called 'Snog, Marry, Avoid' recently, and it was based upon the 'essex-style glamour look' of falsified beauty, with which the majority of the public saw through the heavy use of make up/fake tan etc, and would 'Avoid' them being styled that way, yet after a make-under (reduction to natural beauty), the % of people saying 'Avoid' was negligible.

    What I believe people forget, is that self-effacing can have an impact on people wanting to be around us. In as much as, they'll notice we're insecure and avoid us. Stereotypically that is. I've been avoided like the plague by a lot of people over the years, from being at one point known as a human calculator, to being in a part time minimum wage job, not going to uni or finding a true career, or even singing karaoke with broken teeth that eventually all come out. And it does have some relation to how I feel about me, how I conduct myself, and self-image.

    That might also be why I have a little more success in finding people to build potential relationships with. I don't focus on what someone looks like and just find those I connect well with. Just something that could help locate potential positives.
  7. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I agree with this as well. There will always be some people attracted to just looks, but most seem to be attracted to confidence. Back in highschool there was this girl who got picked during the first few days because of how she looked - a few weeks later, it become obvious this girl was a troublemaker, very loud, very confident, really not very nice and kind of a bully. She became one of the most popular girls in school because she wasn't insecure.

    It's all easy to say though, and to see it happen to others. Quite another to feel like that about ourselves.
  8. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    i have low self esteem myself as well, i have been single ever since my kids mother died so i feel that all women are shallow gold diggers because they wont even talk to me. so where do i go from here? no idea, but i am in the process of trying to lose weight and getting my mind right. so will i be single longer? most likely, will my opinion change of women? not sure, because every day they continue to prove me right. they make me feel unworthy and ugly so i say, whats the use?
  9. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I have low self esteem as as well so i know where you coming from but I am loosing weight my way and I am gonna do everything to make me myself feel better.
  10. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Tarring everyone with the same brush is going to be a turn off. Majority of people are different, but with how you feel, that is going to have an affect on how people choose to interact with you (offline, not on). I'd also recommend that you have a look at how you are towards them as well - it might be something you do that people choose to avoid you for? (Not saying that it is, it's only a possibility)

    While that is perception, and more inclined to be realistic, the truth is, we can all be more confident and dare I suggest less depressing, if we used the time and energy differently. It's actually easier to complain than it is to change how we act and react to the majority of situations that we are involved in.

    The best attitude to have. At least there's some show of willingness and determination to try - which is something that doesn't get shown in a great detail from a lot of what I read on here.