For as long as I could remember I've loved to hurt others. Maybe its because I’ve been hurt so many times, betrayed, and looked down upon. Why do i hate 99.9% percent of all the people i either meet or just see casually walking down the street with a smile on there face? Why am i envious of the 99.9% percent of all the people i either meet or just see casually walking down the street with a smile on there face? In my sick and twisted mind hurting people is my way of teaching weak people how to be strong. Its funny because that’s exactly how my father thinks when he beats me. Am i destined to become just like him? Why does betraying someone else, crushing there self esteem until its nothing, get such a rise out of me? Perhaps I’m just like that bastard, I don’t want to be, but changing is so hard. Staying the cold monster I am would be easier. I feel guilty after I hurt someone and most of the time I apologize but the damage has been done. The person keeps there guard up, there self esteem is no more, and they no longer trust. I’ve ruined yet another person. Perhaps I just want to fill the world with people just as fucked up as I am so I don’t feel alone, because honestly its me that feels weak, and vulnerable. I have a guard up, and I no longer trust. Perhaps I am just like that bastard.