why do i bother

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shidoshi22, Nov 25, 2014.

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  1. shidoshi22

    shidoshi22 New Member

    Hi

    I'm 41 years old male married with 1 daughter aged 16.

    My problem has been a problem for many years 10+

    I'm worthless and a waste of space , and wish I was never born,

    I never had a choice in life, I never was told at birth listen this is how life works.
    You go to playschool then big school then work till your 75. And then you can enjoy life.

    I lost my dad in November 2012
    I just lost my brother November 2014 both to cancer.

    So along with the depression I have from my life I had that to deal with.

    And now the real kicker and why I'm about to lose everything.

    My mum had a mortgage which my brother was the life insurance on.
    So when my brother died the house was supposed to be paid off.
    But he never wrote a will so his son now gets that life insurance 27 thousand.
    Which was supposed to pay the house off.

    But he aint going to give the money to his gran to pay the house off.
    So my mum will lose the house and get moved shes 82.

    My mum paid all the mortgage, my brother never paid a penny it was only for life insurance.

    So I really have had enough of this life nothing is easy and I'm now suffering from high blood pressure diagnosed from doctors.
    And I,m very close to having heart problems due to all this.

    I really don't know why I'm writing to you I know what I have to do.

    I really am tired and do not have the will to carry on.

    Many thanks for the time to read this,

    rob
     
  2. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Hi Rob, I just lost my partner of 33 yrs to cancer and my mother as well, she was only 52 the age I am now. My pain brought me to this site. I can't imagine that you would want your daughter to feel the way you are feeling now and believe me she would have a hellava time in her life to lose you no matter what the relationship is like. I hope you can give yourself some time to just breathe. You are certainly not worthless even though you feel that way right now. I am not very strong right now myself and I have no one in my life. You have a mother and a family, please just hold on for a while and put your energy into those you do have and screw the rest of the world for now if it is too much. Take care...
     
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