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Why do I bother?

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by troon, Jul 18, 2007.

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  1. troon

    troon Member

    I'm a 17 year old boy. I don't come from a poor background, but honestly, I couldn't care less about having money. I just want friends. I never have had any friends I could keep. I'm useless. That's who I am. I keep being told this by people I care about, and trust. In my life, there are only a few select people I feel I can trust, and one of them I sometimes think doesn't even like me. I'm bisexual (another reason I'm so depressed, I'm not "normal" in that sense), and this is the person I really love. And I just feel like he doesn't want me to talk to him, or bug him.

    I have been in the hospital before for depression, and I found a group of kids there that I got along well with, but that's only because of the camaraderie required by living in such an enclosed place. As soon as we were all discharged, they dropped me.

    I currently go to a therapeutic school for my depression, but even there I feel that they don't want me. I feel that the staff is tired of me, the kids don't like me, and even if they understand what it feels like to be rejected, the only person they seem to reject is me.

    I hate the way things are going in my life, I can't repair them at this rate, and the more I try the worse things become. Why do I bother trying anymore... Why should I exist when my existance is solely a burden on all the people I love and care about..?
  2. Tim

    Tim New Member


    You are my best friend. I really do love you. I know how down you can get. But.. If you just try your very best to cope with your current life.. I think you will go on to have a good life. I know it's hard. So hard. But, people truly will miss you.. and I know that they would feel bad if anything happened to you. I absolutely know if I made fun of someone and they hurt themselves or even worse, killed themselves, I would feel extremely horrible. Just wait until High School is over.. And things will get better bud.

    -Tim :smile:
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i can tell you right now that you are not a burden at all... you are not worthless .. i can be your friend if you want me?? you can pm me anytime as long as i am here i will reply back to you.

    love you..
  4. thething912

    thething912 Well-Known Member

    You can trust me.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF Troon. Thank you for taking the time to post about yourself and the issues you are facing. You shouldn't have too much longer left in high school. Seems like the school years can be the most cruel for teasing and bullying. Many times with adulthood comes more acceptance. I know things may seem impossible right now, but don't give up. See what the future has in store for you. It just may hold good times instead of all the bad. Please take care. :hug:
  6. troon

    troon Member

    Thanks everyone... I'm surprised I got such a warm welcome. And it's just so hard to try to wait even another year... :(
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Hang in there troon. You can lean on us for support.
  8. troon

    troon Member

    Heh. I guess things have changed since I came here last like a year and a half ago... Back then no one replied to my request for help.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you decided to give us another try. :hug:
  10. troon

    troon Member

    eh... I'll hold on for now if I can.
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    That is great. We will help you hold on if we can. :hug:
  12. roro

    roro Well-Known Member

    hang in there troon, it does get better. high school really sucks.

    i was a totally messed up teen, drugs, depression, really f'd up.

    things got better in college, and by my mid 20's i was fine. i finally got to where i loved myself and valued myself for me. things got really great after that and i started living life to the fullest.
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