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why do i bother?!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by sunny, Sep 30, 2008.

  1. sunny

    sunny Member

    Im getting so annoyed. As per usual its the very people who are supposed to be helping me that are making me worse. My Doctors just dont listen, well they do if you mention them and then they're interested otherwise they dont give a damn. I went to my psychotherapy group today, thought i would give it one last try to connect with everyone even though deep down I knew that whatever relationship I had built up with everyone had gone. As I walked in to wait for the group to start I saw my doctor and I wanted to scream at her so I took some diazepam, to calm down, not a good idea as i almost fell asleep in there. I cant sit in the same room as my Dr and the other therapist without wanting to scream and cry and tell them how much they themselves have hurt me and I dont think that would go down to well. I also realised that compared to the other patients in the group I have absolutely no importance what so ever, they asked everyone how they were feeling, but me. They dont give a damn no one does!! When I feel low I cant say anything because then everyone else starts acting all wierd like im stealing their spotlight or something! They can keep their damn spotlight! I know it sounds like Im throwing my toys out of my pram but I dont care. Im feeling worse and worse and now I have no one to talk to who actually cares, now I want to piss them all off just for kicks. AAAGGGHHH!!!!!! I just dont know why they all hate me and trust me they do, if you were there it might just surprise you. I really could of used their help just recently to, mentioned it today but they looked at me like I hadnt said anything or was speaking a language they didnt understand and without saying anything moved onto someone else and dismissed me. Sorry for ranting guys.