So low that I don't know how I get through the days. My husband upped and left after 10 years without any warning some weeks ago and though it left me in a terrible state, I thought I was dealing ok with it. Then friday he rang to say he was going away for a week and that he was sorry he had done this to me. Since then I've felt like the world has ended. It's the terrible hope you see. I kept hoping that it was some mad moment and he would come back and now I realise that he won't, that he really has gone for good. I didn't know anyone could be in this much pain, nothing seems worthwhile. I went to the doctors' today (3rd damn visit) and she thinks I'm having a breakdown and has refered me to a psychiatrist. I guess she's right, his leaving has stirred up lots of old feelings that feeling loved had conquered. I know I've been as paranoid as hell this last week and felt let down by people on the site that I felt I had supported in the past. Don't even know if that is a valid emotion, just know without him life is miserable. I miss him so much and still love him, even though he left in th most horrible way you could ever leave someone. No warning. No talking about what was wrong. When I met up with him for an explanation he had taken his wedding ring off (5 days after walking out) and said he wanted to find someone to love; while he's looking at someone who's grey with shock, lost a stone in weight in a week and is shaking all over. He was so damn cruel and it's killed me.