I believe what I have is social anxiety, yet I go out and can communicate with strangers, however as soon as I get to know them better(there is nothing really more to talk about), I tense up and feel a distant between them. I never get past the part where I can freely be myself or express how I feel. Why do I sense that? Sometimes I feel it's the sense of foreboding. Like if I get too involved I will make them a friend and when they drop me, I will go down a spiral. Most people I meet are so in to themselves, that is, they complain or talk about what's happening in their lives, but immediately if I contribute a little info about me, sometimes they disappear on me or change the subject! I have had it where I was in mid-sentence and they'll be waving at someone else, cutting me off just so they can go say hello to them. I mean how rude?! I always thought I was a flake. That should someone ever invite me out, I would do whatever possible, no matter how much I liked them, to refuse. Because I was so afraid of small talk. I still am afraid of small talk, but when I do, no matter how considerate I am, the relationship never lasts longer than the initial hello. There are no second dates or friendly outings. They either find me useless, jealous of me, or hate me. WHY? Please someone explain! I have this one person I met a while back in my life which I know this post has gone on too long for me to describe details, but I always felt I had to do things his way, do him a favor, or say encouraging things when he rarely reciprocates this manner. He is sometimes a fun, nice conversationalist, but our conversations never reach to a deeper level. It's always on general terms like hobbies and interests. He insists on communicating a certain way and when I told him that was difficult for me, he simply wanted it his way still. I have come to the point where I realize he may be rejecting me, but why do I constantly meet these type of people?! I want to make friends, but I can't! I now have fear that if I try, I would just lose them all over again. It's the same feeling I get when I apply for a job and I do accept it, it turns sour and I quit/lay off and I'm back out again feeling miserable!