I have no idea where to even begin. I am worthless and useless. Literally every day I wake my thoughts are of the worthlessness I am and the things I will never be. I have lost all my friends and its all my falut. They would always call or invite me to go places, and it got to the point I would quit answering the phone and going around them. I simply dont wont to be around anyone. I am an old man at 33 and I decided to go back to college about two years ago. The last few jobs I have had I lost due to layoffs, and currently just go to school. I have lost the will to even look for a job because where I am you will be lucky to make seven dollars a hour. I compare myself to former friends and others I know who are my age and see how far they are in life, and where I am. I figured school would help, but it hasnt. I just cant see the point of my life or living. I am just a waste of life. I guess I am just so lonely, but yet I cant find the will to be around anyone. Doesnt make sense does it. I know there are millions of people worse off than I am, but we all handle our problems differently. I am so consumed with doubt, self hate, and disappointment. I guess this is nothing more than a bunch of rambling, but I doubt anyone will read it. If you dont like eating something you dont eat it. If you dont like a movie you dont watch it. If you dont like life than why live it? I pray for that one moment of clarity when I will realize I will never have have someone to love, I will never be anything, and I will never have anything. That one moment of clairty I pray for, for than I can finally end my worthless life.