I've been having a cr*p time lately... currently in a really bad SH cycle... I wanted to cancel going home to visit my family this weekend but I couldn't make up a good excuse. I managed to make my mum believe I was clumsy with the oven and that's how I hurt my hand, even though she just went "but how would you hurt yourself there?" And I came with a quick explanation... We ended up fighting... or rather she started making fun of me and complaining that I talked too loudly... The kitchen was noisy and I'm nearly deaf on one ear and I couldn't hear my own voice... And in the end I just got hurt and left... I was in the kitchen helping her keep the cats off the table while she cooked. I am so tempted to go back home now... but if I do I fear I'll SH and truly break apart. My aunt is already driving me nuts and she's not even here yet... she texted me when I was on the train asking what I was doing and a minute later she called about her computer as I was getting off on the station... I kept telling her where I was and she kept talking. I think she even called my mum to tell her I had been 'rude' with her... While I once again was her personal IT geek. She doesn't even say thank you! And my mother's aunt... we're all mad at her, she's got a poorly leg and she didn't call the nurses for days when it acted up because she didn't want to bother them... she's going to lose the leg if that continues... I don't want to be a member of this family. And that's 'forgetting' that mum used to beat me and lock me up and leave me... and blamed me for being raped... GAH!!