hello Morganne,
Sometimes life is just like a sailboat caught in a storm. You keep on going until you find a safe harbor and there not much choice then carry on your own resources for a while. Thankfully, these days, there is the net which offers a whack of free possibilities like this forum, which people of my geological age (by your standard) could not even dream of. Now why keeping on going? Because there is a whole lot of stuff in your future you have maybe not experienced yet which makes it worth living through the bad stuff: great friendships, meaningful work, children of your own etc...But also because on a daily basis, even in the worst times, there is all those little things like a glass of cold milk, like the changes of the season, like the smell of bacon...Learning to be happy is in part getting our mind out of the gutter, forget about what should be, and make the best of what is. Let say you decided that what you crave for is a pizza, but you got nothing in the fridge to make one and there is no pizzeria in town. You got two choices, 1) being miserable because for the near future pizza is not an option or 2) forget about the pizza, look around in the kitchen and find there is all the stuff to make a great mac&cheese.
You got plenty of time to find what you want to do in life, but hun, for that you need to give yourself what it takes to make it through another day, then another one, then another until you get there. As for you body, a whack of women would give their soul to be your height but that is not the main point. We are taught to focus so much on what it looks like, rather than inhabiting it, enjoying all its capacity for movement, dancing, walking, stretching..., for sensations like seeing, touching, smelling...You know, I often take the time to observe my dog Luath. She is not much into fashion magazines. She is pretty much oblivious about her appearance. But its obvious that what she does care about is having fun running, jumping, rolling in the dirt, chewing my rugs...all in all exploring all the wonderful gifts that comes with an animal body. So if I would dare suggest it, today, do something you like, take a walk, dance in the living room, and focus on your body from the inside. At first it will seem strange because we are trained to take for granted all those amazing things it does. No matter what people think of what you look like (or even yourself for that matter), nobody but yourself can take away from you the pleasure of tasting good food, of waking up in a warm bed, of walking a forest trail. I wish you a good day hun.