why do i feel i feel this way

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by xfootballer, Sep 3, 2010.

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  1. xfootballer

    xfootballer Member

    I've been depressed for most of my life and almost for as long as i can remember. The screwed up thing though is that there is no reason for me to hate my life. I have a loving family, am basically healthy, and relatively intelligent and just maybe could make something out of myself if i didn't spend my time laying around feeling like shit and hating myself. i just don't understand why i can't be happy an enjoy life instead of thinking of ways to end it.
  2. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    How are you feeling today? I know what you mean about no motivation. Are you on any medication for your depression?
  3. Chenstar058

    Chenstar058 New Member

    yea I used to get this feeling...but I was thinking, do u do any activities? like dance or music or wateva. I started picking up the guitar and its kept me busy and I meet some nice ppl.
    Open up and try some activities? If theres anythin wrong...just give a heads up
  4. xfootballer

    xfootballer Member

    No i'm not on any meds, ironically i'm majoring in chemistry but have always been opposed to pumping myself full of synthetic chemicals. I finally worked up the courage to call and set up an appointment for a therapist and maybe he'll give me something that works. I've self diagnosed myself, and my dad and his dad who actually killed himself, with a form of Dysthymic, probably the atypical type of it so meds is probably the only thing that will help me.
    I used to be really into rock climbing and the outdoors but i've always struggled to find people who want to go with me and don't flake out at the last minute. I bought a bunch of gear for climbing because i thought i had finally found some people who were down to go climbing several times a month but they all backed out on me and i was left holding the bill. I finally managed to drag myself out of the current slump long enough to go join a climbing gym again, this time by myself since i no longer trust people to follow through. Climbing, well bouldering, really helps me to take my mind off of things, as does reading. Problem is once i have downtime or need to settle in to do homework my brain drifts towards depression and i end up feeling like shit and hitting myself over the head with the notebook instead of writing in it, so its really messing up my goals and ambitions, if i really still do have any goals other than to just get through the day .
    Oh yeah and thanks for responding the two of you, it really helps me being able to come here and vent and having people listen to me
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