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Why do I feel like such a failure?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kisa, May 16, 2011.

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  1. Kisa

    Kisa Member

    This must be the stupidest thing that anybody has ever posted.

    I want a dog. I've found the dog that I want. But my boyfriend says no. He won't let me get a dog.

    I'm such a failure at life... I can't do anything. I haven't demonstrated that I'm competent enough to to have a dog. I don't take care of my cat and rabbit as much as I should. And I'm not good about paying rent.

    My boyfriend doesn't want to fight with me over this. And then I think I just want to push him away. If he doesn't want me... I'll just leave. But telling him that would just hurt him. And I know I'm being stupid thinking these things. But my mood has plumited. I'm pissed off, and depressed. I'd be better off dead. He'd be better off.

    I'm feeling self destructive. If I won't kill myself, I feel that I could at least run away. Pack up all my stuff and leave.

    But this would be like throwing a hissy fit over something that I want.

    But I'm being so irrational right now... I can't help it.
    I'm going to just end up hurting him. And hurting myself when I come back to my senses.
    Somebody help.


    So much anger. I hate him. I hate myself.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i think if you are having difficulties looking after two animals you have it is fair to say you cannot handle a dog. A dog is much more work need so much attention and you may not have that energy. You bf just looking out for you okay hugs
  3. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    A dog probably wouldn't help your stress however much you want one at the moment. you said yourself you were being irrational so try not to dwell on it to much but hope the longing passes.
    please don't distance yourself from your bf when you need him.
    hope you pick up soon.
  4. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    I think if you are admitting to yourself that two pets are difficult, then your boyfriend is probably picking up on the fact that adding a third wont help.

    Maybe you could make it a hobby of yours to spend more time with your pets. You wont feel so guilty about not taking care of them, you'll show your boyfriend that your can cope and you might even help yourself with your feelings of failure.

    I don't think that you are a failure, I think that you're just stressed.

    Hope you feel better.
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