This must be the stupidest thing that anybody has ever posted. I want a dog. I've found the dog that I want. But my boyfriend says no. He won't let me get a dog. I'm such a failure at life... I can't do anything. I haven't demonstrated that I'm competent enough to to have a dog. I don't take care of my cat and rabbit as much as I should. And I'm not good about paying rent. My boyfriend doesn't want to fight with me over this. And then I think I just want to push him away. If he doesn't want me... I'll just leave. But telling him that would just hurt him. And I know I'm being stupid thinking these things. But my mood has plumited. I'm pissed off, and depressed. I'd be better off dead. He'd be better off. I'm feeling self destructive. If I won't kill myself, I feel that I could at least run away. Pack up all my stuff and leave. But this would be like throwing a hissy fit over something that I want. But I'm being so irrational right now... I can't help it. I'm going to just end up hurting him. And hurting myself when I come back to my senses. Somebody help. ----- So much anger. I hate him. I hate myself.