My boyfriend stays over 3 nights a week, Sunday, Monday and Thursday. He's at work three nights a week and plays pool on the last night. So basically he spends nearly all his free time here. I grow to depend on him being here those three days. Every night I spend alone is just a night I have to get through so that he can stay again. Then when he tells me he can't come over one night for whatever reason I get really really bad. Like tonight, he just text me telling me he wasn't paid tonight, so he probably can't come over tomorrow. I've been so lonely and depressed tonight, I hate being alone so much that I wish he could be here now, and can't even wait 'til tomorrow, the thought of waiting 'til tomorrow is hard, but the thought of having to wait until Sunday and not seeing him tomorrow, I'd rather die. I know that's really melodramatic but I just overreact so bad to stuff especially with him not coming over, I always think it's because he doesn't really want to come over otherwise he'd find a way (he usually borrows money off his mother when he gets paid late). So I always think he's getting sick of me and needs a break from me because I'm just too much to deal with. Which, to be fair, I am, but the thought of him being sick of me is too hurtful for me. It makes me suicidal that he might not be over here tomorrow. I know this is something really small to get this upset over, but I think it is BPD. Honestly right now I'd rather just die than have to be by myself for a whole extra night. I can't be without him - I tried once, when we broke up for two weeks (my fault, again) and I just couldn't be without him. Now it looks like I can't even be without him for one night. Am I crazy and over the top melodramatic?