I feel like I have always been taking care of them, ever since I was a kid. I am the peace maker and basically I make sure they don't kill one another. My mom is always drunk and puts me and everyone else down, even sometimes while sober. She always needs to be the center of attention and to be involved in some sort of drama. I can't imagine how many times I have told her to drop and forget about something from the past, about me or another family member, or even a friend or a neighbor, only for her to bring it up once again. My mom told me I never do anything, but I do so much. If I didn't take out the trash, do the dishes, clean the house, even her own room, it would never get done because she never does any of it. I left her alone for a week once, and she couldn't even take out a single bag of garbage! The place looked like a trash heap when I got back there. Not to mention, she thinks that I am being influenced by "bad" people, and referred to my friends as "assholes" even though she knows none of them! I call it like I see it. I try to give her a reality check, but she gets offended. She says I'm not allowed to discuss my feelings with anyone. If I paint a less than perfect picture of her, that's a problem, but I only speak the truth. And it's not like I can talk to her about these things, because she just won't listen. So....why do I feel responsible for my family? I guess I would feel guilty if something bad happened to them, but that would be of their own doing. I can't imagine why I put up with it, unless I am just that defeated from years of mental/verbal abuse that I just accept it now.