Why do I feel this way?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by drewlink99, Apr 12, 2010.

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  1. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    There are reasons, but maybe I'm not aware of them...
    I just don't know why I feel like this. Everything about me is changing. It's like I'm going down hill, I can't type that well anymore (no =t that I was good in the first place) But in speach too, I am loosing vocabulary, and usage. I can't think straight... But thats no reason to feel this way.
    I almost just walked away the other day. I was mowing that lawn, and I just wanted to run, anywhere. and never come back.
     
  2. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    There aren't always reasons, and it totally sucks. If you want to run, run. I've done that before. It helps. Just know we're here, and we can talk about stuff. :hug:
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I know that feeling of wanting to run away too....have you spoken to a doctor about how you feel?
     
  4. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    i have not talked to a doctor... I need to, but I can't do this anymore.
    I don't know how to describe it, but every breath is labored, it feels like it...
     
  5. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    I hated today, so long and sad.
    I don't know why though, people where all happy, but I was there, and not.
    And I can't tell them, because they will make fun of it.
    idk
     
  6. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    I don't know anymore... Maybe it's time to go...
     
  7. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    All I feel is emptiness inside, there is nothing left of "me", I was ready last night, and I know I am not allowed to say how, I just gave up, and went to bed. I am so mad at myself, and I know it is petty... I don't know what you others think, but I am sure, it is not good. I am wondering if I should pull out of this forum... I hate complaining, but I cannot do this verbally,
     
  8. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    I see how it works here....
    You only get help if you are important enough.
    Well, it proves what I am...
    Bye
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    don't go drew...I don't know how I've missed your postings....not anything personal just having a crisis myself....I have noticed the forum is rather quiet of late...most people seem to be in crisis at the moment..
    you are important so don't hurt yourself.....go to the doctor and ask for help...try some meds if you haven't already or get them changed if you have...
    can you tell any friends, family how you feel?
    you can't do this alone ..you need some support....
    I'm glad you posted here and sorry we haven't been here for you..
    keep posting please.....
     
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Andrew.. When your new sometimes it takes a while to start getting replies.. I know I felt invisable whenn I joined.. Give us a chance and keep posting.. The more you post the sooner you will get replies..You say your not getting any help.. You should see a pdoc and tell him all..Then get a reference for a good therapist.. They really do help.. Just keep in mind it takes time for them to get to know you..You have to build that bond between you.. Take care!!
     
  11. drewlink99

    drewlink99 Member

    I am still here...
    I cried last night, hard. Very hard, then fell asleep.
    I hate that I am too afraid to do it...
    And all day, there where reminders of how worthless I am.
    It is surprising what you see in school...
     
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