Why do I have to be loved

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ezza121, Mar 17, 2010.

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  1. Ezza121

    Ezza121 Active Member

    Does anyone ever wish that no one would love you and that if you were to end it. No one would care. I know that if I end it. The people that love me the most. My family will end theirs. I don't know what to do. All it is, is just pain when I live. :(
     
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    if you've been here before and it's getting worse, i think you need to call a crisis center

    can you talk about what's pushed you to this point?

    we're all here to listen
     
  3. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    I know that feeling too. A lot of times it is knowing that somehow my death will hurt others, and that at least one of my friends will end hers as well, that keeps me alive against my wishes. Living is painful, but what else can we do when dying just brings more pain?
     
  4. Anonymity

    Anonymity Member

    Dying doesn't bring pain. You can't feel pain when you're dead.

    They only mourn for a few years, then they move on with their lives. Mindset of a depressed one, of course. No one cares, you're just another person in the large world, right?

    I get you. I'm considering it too.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    WRONG they mourn for a life time i know no one gets over it or forgets noone so you get therapy meds whatever so you donot let others inherit the pain you have WE MOURN FOREVER
     
  6. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    I;m considering it too, but when I get kicked in the shins talking to people and am forced to take a step back and look at things i can see what violet is saying. as much as it hurts to live and as much as i want to end it i dont yet know how i can rationally do that to those around me... it just makes things harder to deal with
     
  7. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    I came to the conclusion 2 years ago that I couldn't kill myself because of the impact on people that knew me. Although I felt completely alone, I knew it would hurt a lot of people.

    So the alternative was to work as hard as I could to make my life better. Now I'm better :)
     
  8. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    ive been trying for years to make my life better, though, and every time it seems like its getting there i fall back into this hole that i cant escape. telling myself that i cant kill myself to spare the people that care about me just keeps me trapped still.
     
  9. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    Keep trying cuttle. Try to figure out what throws you back in your hole. You'll start to understand yourself better and better.

    I tried to change my life a bunch of times and failed. Eventually it got better. Keep trying, change your hobbies, diet, friends, sleeping habits, looks, etc. etc. eventually things will come together.
     
  10. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    i keep failing though. it gets better but that better is only an illusion it seems. ive tried changing everything and nothing has worked. if people didnt keep telling me they cared and theyd be crushed if i was gone id probably already be gone, its the fear of hurting others thats keeping me here. i feel like im living not for me but for those around me. it sucks.
     
  11. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    What have you tried to change?
     
  12. Anonymity

    Anonymity Member

    No one gets hurt if no one loves you. And there's usually a way to get your friends, family, and almost everyone that hears news to hate you. I think about it too. Not old enough for a gun license though, and I kinda want to end it all right now.
     
  13. Ezza121

    Ezza121 Active Member

    Thats exactly what is happening to me at the moment. Things were terrible a couple of months back and everything started to seem better.... now in the past couple of weeks it's all gone downhill, worse than before. It makes me think, how much further down can i go before i come to the only solution i have........ :(
     
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