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Why do I keep blowing all my chances?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Nov 17, 2010.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    finally may have got somewhere with my efforts on a dating website but am worried I will manage to enter my default destruct mode again where I struggle to make conversation and revert to type by talking about myself and my choice of subjects which normally lead to me boring girls about sport etc.

    Sometimes I'm fine until the person I'm talking with decides they can't hold the conversation for much longer and it just feels like a common recurrence.

    It is me or is every woman I've spoken to just lost for words?
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and so glad you shared this as so many ppl have these doubts...maybe role playing the conversation with someone will make you more confident so that when you do get to it in RL, you will have a sense of what to say...I would be happy to spend that time doing that with you...just a thought, and best of luck...you deserve happiness, J
  3. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I always appreciate your quick responces to my latest dilemma.

    The Women whom I'm chatting to on a dating website has said she finds my found my sense of humor funny but everybody else just expects me to act like a fool. Should I play on the fact she actually likes it or hope for the best that she doesn't find out that I'm boring and silly by churning out more rubbish jokes?
    She happens to like sport as well but I'm worried she will soon learn of my addiction to it and lose intrest in talking to me. I don't think I can go through with making bonds with anybody else because it is time consuming and I'm worried my friends will start asking questions as to why I'm single more or less all of the time.

    Thanks x
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    maybe you could ask some questions about her, let her talk about herself.

    Not that I've got the low down on dating, but one piece of advice that I've often heard, and seems like it might be good, is be yourself.

    Not everyone will like you when you are yourself. But the people who do like you will genuinely like you.

    Probably having better self-esteem will help you with dating and life in general.
  5. meesh

    meesh Member

    i agree with may71, ask her about herself, her interests, her life, her favorite bands and movies, her favorite sports teams, etc. and see what you two have in common. questions are good because it shows you are interested and also gives her more to talk about, which in turn gives you more to respond to. humor is good, girls like a guy that can make them laugh. also, if you are really this concerned about your "sports addiction" affecting your dating, i suggest finding a girl who is as into sports as you are! believe it or not, they do exist. i am a sports fanatic and i'm a girl so i can vouge for that. they may be rare, and to find one who likes the same teams would be that much harder, but i think it would be worth it, no?

    good luck!
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