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Why do I keep falling in love with older people?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Kieth11, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. Kieth11

    Kieth11 New Member

    Why? Every single person I love and/or think is handsome is at least twice my age. I'm 14, fyi. The person I love the most is actually my cousin. He's so handsome, and one of the kindest people I've ever met. I love him so much, although he lives far away from me... He's about maybe 40s. ??? I have no idea. The second person I'm in love with is in his 60s. He's very handsome, and kind, and I see him once a week. I love watching him dance, not only because he's handsome, but because he's an excellent dancer and very easy to follow. The third is actually very recent. He's my english teacher, although I' not in love with him, but he's pretty handsome also. His age is 47.
    I've never seen kids as handsome as any of them, and definitely not any I was ever in love with. I think that about 1 out of every 10 or so men is handsome and catches my eye. So far like 1 out of 10,000 kids I think is handsome. The only kid I've ever thought was handsome I met at school. He's about my age, but he's not nearly as handsome as the adults.
    I guess this is a sign maybe that I should wait and get a boyfriend when I'm a lot older. I hate myself for loving people so much older than I am. My cousin is the person I'm most in love with. He's married and has two, three kids and at least one of them has graduated from college. So it's wrong on so many levels...
  2. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    I think it's probably down to what you're seeking... And that, coincidentally, you're finding evidence of that within people who happen to be older.

    That's what I think it is with me. My new partner is 16 years older than I - but is the youngest love interest I've had for years.

    I think age is just a number and it's about the person and connection. The only thing I'd say is that at your age an age difference of even a few years can make a huge difference... Life choices, path options and values can vary so wildly that we must be mindful if the pitfalls and realistic about our chances.
  3. I think that there is nothing wrong for you to like older partners than you. But you need to be aware that you are fourteen and any one the above age limit of 18 is not considered a minor. Not passing the judgment but more of a precaution here, you do realize something is awfully suspicious of what a 60 year old would be doing wanting to be around the presence of a 14 year old. Nothing is wrong with connecting someone that old of, but important questions you might want to ask yourself, is do your parents know who he is? By this has he been around your family at all? Where did you meet him? Was it online communications, school, a mall? How did you meet him? Did you stumble upon him by accident? Did you find a way to introduce yourself to him? Himself to you?

    The reason I say this is, you have to be aware of what position you place yourself in, and that is with anyone. Honestly at 14 years of age I think one should be more committed to friends and school, but I was a teenager at one time as well, and we are all human, so it is okay that you are testing the waters with men, even older. The moral of what I am trying to teach you is respect, and take care of yourself. Use wise decision making in selecting the future romances you endeavor. Do not be fearful to ask questions, if something is suspicious to you, and do not let anyone take advantage of you.

    What you are going through I can only imagine is normal honestly. Your mind and body is at the state where you are going through some rapid hormonal changes, and it is good that your perception on other genders, sexual desire, romantic interest and preference are beginning to develop. There is nothing odd or abnormal about this at all, as it is your individual perception right currently
  4. Anon06

    Anon06 Member

    I don't think it really is a big deal.
    The reason you feel uncomfortable is probably just because society usually thinks ill of a minor dating an older person. And there are some good reasons: no matter how mature and intelligent a minor might be, it is usually easy for an adult to outsmart them, so a relationship with someone older than you can be extremely dangerous if your love interest turns out to be a bad guy. Also a minor has limited responsibilities and limited rights, which in turn means they have limited independence compared to an adult; the unbalance of power is another cause of worry in a relationship with an adult.
    Bottom line is: there is nothing wrong with your feelings, but you must be careful. And it would probably be better if you wait until you're 16 or 17 before trying anything with an adult.