why do I need?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by katdaines, Jun 25, 2013.

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  1. katdaines

    katdaines Guest

    I am lost. My boyfriend is gone away for a while and I am keft here in our apartment alone. I love him so much and miss him too. But right now I feelangry. AAngry with myself for never being able to be happ without hI'm. I need him more than he needs me and that's not fair. I don't know how he can even love me. Being bipolar has caused a lot of problems for me. Mostly I don't think anyone should have to suffer through my emotions but mysellf. And I don't even do it that well. I just get consumed with myself and cut. But I'm out of space. I don't know how to get over my need for a lot of love. My boyfriend wants to start our life together but I don't know how. I'm angry he left me behind here and even more angry at myself for bejng weak. He sounds so happy away from me, though he says he misses me. I guess I just wish I didn't hate myself so I could be strong on my own.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is there someone you could stay with until he returns hun go out with your gf or have a friend sleep over that way you are showing him you can handle being on your own hun
  3. jsant

    jsant New Member

    I understand what you are feeling. Unfortunately I am going through something similar. You have to learn to be happy without him, because, GOD FORBID THIS, but what if he leaves you, and you are all alone? That is what happened to me. I became so entangled with him and dependent on him for my happiness, that when he left me, I was a wreck. I didn't know how to be happy anymore. I am still struggling to be happy. I still go out to friends and seek comfort and happiness, and then I get angry when it isn't enough. As difficult as this sounds, you have to learn to love yourself, one little baby step at a time. I also have to learn to love myself, one little baby step at a time. Maybe then, the relationship will become healthy again. You can be happy without him and with him. There won't be the feeling of him not needing you vs. you needing him alll of the time.
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