I am lost. My boyfriend is gone away for a while and I am keft here in our apartment alone. I love him so much and miss him too. But right now I feelangry. AAngry with myself for never being able to be happ without hI'm. I need him more than he needs me and that's not fair. I don't know how he can even love me. Being bipolar has caused a lot of problems for me. Mostly I don't think anyone should have to suffer through my emotions but mysellf. And I don't even do it that well. I just get consumed with myself and cut. But I'm out of space. I don't know how to get over my need for a lot of love. My boyfriend wants to start our life together but I don't know how. I'm angry he left me behind here and even more angry at myself for bejng weak. He sounds so happy away from me, though he says he misses me. I guess I just wish I didn't hate myself so I could be strong on my own.