Why do I still have hope?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by souncide, Sep 25, 2012.

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  1. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    So I fell in love again. And I feel awful.
    Not when I see her, or when we're chatting - in these times I feel really great. But when I'm alone and then stop to think about what I'm doing, I have a big desire of dying. Everytime we're together, I act like the complete idiot I really am. I'm really afraid I'm making her hate me. This is bringing such awful moments to me. Last Saturday, I played a little with a knife. Didn't cut myself, but I was really close. It was a chat with a friend that stopped me. But I still feeling awful. Made a song to her (thinking it could change the image she probably have of me) and sent it, yesterday. She neither answered, nor said anything else.
    I'm really afraid. I really, really love this girl, and I don't know what to do. The desires of death or of disappear came back really strong.
     
  2. lifeisgood

    lifeisgood Member

    Stay strong, stick with it. Things will get better.
    I spent a long time loving a girl who didn't love me back, and it drove me to the edge but a year later and everything's much better. Just give it time.
     
  3. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    maybe you won't lose her.
     
  4. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    So, she heard the song. And loved it. It made me feel O.K. for a little time. But, of course, I couldn't loose the chance to fuck everything up. I told her, in Facebook, everything I feel. For two days, I had no answer. Talking to her, she said that she saw my message. But asked me to talk about this later. We've talked, but not about this. I don't know what to do. Can't go talk with her on school because I just freeze when I see her, and I almost don't see her online. I'm going crazy.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It seems that you second guess yourself and do things that might not be how you wish to behave around her...when we are scared or anxious we truly do not show our best...is there someone who can guide you in this relationship? Someone who has had success and who can help you find a way to be more authentic around her?
     
  6. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    I think you need to concentrate more on feeling better about yourself, and less on the relationship. If she's the right gal for you, it will work out in the end. But you need to be okay, even if it doesn't work out. And being able to feel better about yourself, means you will be able to show more confidence, which will help any relationship.
     
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