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Why do I want to kill myself?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pogosticker, Jun 4, 2012.

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  1. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    Going back to college this year. My job prospects are looking up. I've had a lot of sex and can get it whenever I want. But I can't help walking down the street with my headphones in listening to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX3k_QDnzHE and feeling the urge to cry and jump in front of an oncoming vehicle.

    My life has got so much better. But the need to end it is still there. I'm on anti-depressants.

    Sometimes I just feel hollow. I walk through life with my headphones in listening to dramatic and powerful often sad songs on repeat like I'm in some dramatic music video.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Try putting on more uplifting music and play it over and over again music has alot of power hun use it in a positive way
  3. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    aw hun im sorry i feel like that too sometimes
    its ok to feel down but your listening to way too much
    low feeling songs
    just like total eclipse said put some uplifting music on such as
    some gospel music or pop
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well... I cannot say I was able to absorb whatever message that song has.. other than it is in a minor key with is more associated with depression.

    Anyway, I think you are finding yourself wondering because you have what a lot of people on this forum do not have. I know I do the same thing. I wonder why I want to die because I have a good job, a secure job with high income potential. If I believed in therapy I could get it easily with no troubles. The only thing I do not have is the social know how to have sex.

    You mention that you are at the end of college. That is probably one major cause of your depression. Suddenly you are going to imbark upon a massive unknown change. It happens to a lot of students. All through out lives school has every step of our life planned out for us. So there are no real suprises. When we leave school, suddenly we are thrown into a much more unknown future. I think you are freaking out because you do not know what is going to happen next. Will you get a job, will you like it, will it be a bad job, will you be able to make ends meet, will you squander your money, will you suddenly lose sex? Lots of questions that you have to answer for yourself. At this point though you cannot know the answer.

    Chances are something else is missing from your life. For me that thing is sex, however, you can easily obtain sex so that is not it. Maybe you have no hobbies or anything to help you relax? I do not know, at the end you have to justify what you are missing to yourself.
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