Always think of suicide and death when something bad happens? It is the first and last thought in my head when a bad situation occurs. Now I have terrible situational depression. So while most people with that kind of thing, just get sad or withdrawn etc, not me. My mind turns to thoughts of death. And so I find myself that way this morning. When I moved back home with my family, I sacrificed my Directv service. My wife has cable and we werent going to have 2 different tv providers so....mine was cancelled and I was just going to put the remaining balance, cancellation fees equipment fees etc on the chapter 7 bancruptcy we are doing in Nov. Well those bastards, (because I used to make payments to them withy my debit card) took out 400.00 from my checking account yesterday, leaving me almost nothing left in the bank. And I have so many bills that need to be taken care of. I know....this too shall pass. But right now, all I want to do is die. But it turns out today, I am too poor to do that even. FUCK, I hate my life!!!!