Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Oct 22, 2009.
You know what... I just wanna know!
I dont really... I mean, there's 3 types of women to me, hot women, cute women, and not attractive to me (doesnt mean they arent to someone else). Personally all the hot women out there I dont find attractive at all. Im more into the cute ones. So honestly, no, im not attracted to hot/attractive women... which is what I assume u mean by attractive. Otherwise attractive is just a word that is defined by each individual's interests.
I don't, personality is hard to determine from appearance.
If by "falling over themselves" you mean being unable to keep themselves from staring, following her movement lwith their eyes like a sunflower follows the sun and starting to comment on the girl's feautures with their friends and all that...
Well, according to a book a read it's all about our genes and the way we evolved back at the caveman days. So the theory goes that because back at the stone age women would stay in the caves tending the babies while men went hunting for food, eventually the process of hunting gave men a hunter instict that women usually lack. Today tough, acquiring food isn't quite the issue it was before among men. Back then men compeated in getting the biggest piece of meat, now they compete (even if they're not aware of it) with women and thus our hunter instinct developed into an ability to spot beautiful females even in the biggest crowds.
Now, obviously our hunter instinct demands that we "hunt" which in this case would be well... intercourse, which is difficult when she's a complete stranger because that would be rape so "falling over ourselves" is the response of our genes to the inability of fullfyling our genetic inscription to hunt.
The thing about this is that men have little control over it. If a fairly attractive girl crosses the street, every single man (except the gay ones) will at least take a small glance at the girl to check it out (or in genetic language, to see if she's worthy to be hunted). Even if you see a guy keeping himself from glancing her way, he's likely the guy with his girlfriend who doesn't want to be caught staring at another girl so he's restraining himself.
But the thing you girls should understand is that 95% of the time there is no malice or ill will in that stare or that excitment. When men are aroused by looking at a total stranger they don't truly want anything with her. They may say they want, but that's just them pretending to be something they're not. All of this is just our genetic inscription taking over because in the end we still love our girlfriends and wives despite how many girls we secretly check while on the way to the supermarket. Sure we may chat about it "hey, check out that girl's legs" and all that, but that's just peer pressure acting.
You can also notice that most men don't like women to take the first step, little do they know that it's just their genes complaining that it's no sport like that. lol!
As they say, we're all slaves to our genes.
You make a lot of sense Pedro!
I think I was talking less about simply looking and more about the fact that I find it disturbing that so many young girls are aspiring to be wags (footballers wives and girlfriends) and gold diggers. Now a friend of mine said this a few years ago, I recently found her on Facebook and you know what... she got her wish.
I found it difficult to understand, and what I found even more disturbing was she is friends with a circle of women who do the same thing.
All stunningly attractive, all initially poor, all dating rich men.
I used to see my female friends taking advantage of men, getting guys to buy them drinks, dinners, pay their rent, take them shopping etc. All with the promise of sex, even though 9 times out of 10 they'd never actually get it.
And then an hour ago my brother jokingly says something about some hot girl on the TV like "oh my God, she can take whatever she wants" (we were talking about money).
I hate to say it but I once asked a male friend to loan me £300 and he did just because he fancied me.
I just fail to understand why men become so gulliable and almost idiotic *sorry* around women when there's a slight sniff of a chance that sex might be on the cards.
I suppose you've said it's the hunter in them and it's just human nature so I'll just have to take that as bond!
Scares me all the same though. lol
I've always heard that that men are more visual than women. Maybe that's true. It sure seems to be. That doesn't mean there aren't women who're this way, but if we take a look at porn and how that attracts way more men than women in greater numbers, we can see that instant visual appeal acutely excites men.
Women think if they make themselves more attractive for men, their lives will be better and they'll snag prince charming. Being good-looking doesn't guarantee you'll truly connect with someone and it doesn't mean you can't be treated badly. I won't lie and say I haven't thought this way about changing my looks but there have been stories of women who do everything in their control to look pretty for their partners and the men still cheat, lose interest or leave them for someone else eventually.
The key is to find someone that likes the kind of package you have. From that point onward, it all based on personality and shared interests I guess.
I've known some guys who stick around and put up with shit that their girlfriends dish out to them because those women are pretty, but at some point the men get tired. They can't carry on a serious relationship just on looks alone. It's not enough to establish a deep and rock-hard bond as years progress. My feeling is that that requires something more.
I know someone who does this. She can get attention from almost any man but she's not exactly a happy camper on the inside. Men pay her way, they buy her things, and men like to keep her around for show n' tell. She's arm candy and she knows she can use men this way when she gets ready to.
In my mind, that might seem nice on one hand, but she's replaceable as soon as the next good-looking woman comes around. Maybe this works for some women if they aren't looking for anything serious. They get what they need from a man by using their bodies and they move on. They justify being selfish and they don't really care if using the men they deal with hurts those men later. As far as those women are concerned, they feel those men are pigs and deserve it for being so shallow. This is what my friend said to me in a private conversation.
Last time I checked, she provides personal strip shows for men in hotel arrangements. The men pay for the room and they pay her for her time. I guess you can call her a sex worker but she doesn't see it that way. She sees it as being business savvy, taking care of number 1 and getting what she needs to pay the bills.
Yeah, we men are just like that. But in fact it's not hard for you to understand what's going on in our heads when that happens. Just think about your greatest material wish, the thing, object that you want the most. Now, imagine someone came to you and told you there was a serious chance you could get just that. Sure, he person could be just trying to sell you something or whatever, it could very well turn out to be real, but you'd still consider the posibility of it being right, and maybe, just maybe it'd be worth taking the chance right?
For men, that one thing we want the most, deep inside, is always women, simple as that (remember, the hunter thingy). Now, the obvious diference is that if you want a Lamborghini, a Yacht or a sucessful singing career, not everyone with a penis can give you just that, on the other hand last time I checked the ratio between male and female births was slightly favorate to females and those that men consider "unwanted" are all and all, a minority. Thus there are alot of people out there who have just what men want the most and that's why it can be so easy to manipulate men. (yeah, I'm actually a guy telling you this lol, guess that's why I never played in a football team)
The reason why so many women like to manipulate men is also fairly evident: personal experience. Think about yourself, I don't know a girl I never saw at least once putting on some puppy eyes and acting all sweets to get a guy to do something he doesn't particularly want to do. I'm sure you did it yourself, even if your objective is something harmless like getting help with homework, it's all the same for men, cause our genes always trick us into seeing a chance at satistying our animal needs.
What those girls do is just taking it a step further by offering more and raising the perceived chances of the male getting what he wants, only he's too focused on his goal to realise there is no chance or probability because it'll always be the women's call at the end, and she already knows she'll turn him down when she got what she wants from him. Once a girl masters the way men react to this or that "promise", she can easily get everything she wants from most men because they'll always pay. That's what those deluxe high rate and high pay "escorts" do. They know how to press a men's buttons and since he's usually rich to begin with, she can keep pressing them for as long as she wishes.
There was a study done recently in Australia and it found that women perve on/check out men more than men do to women, except men are more vocal about it. I find it interesting, because it is one of the many things that women blame men for doing despite the fact they do it themselves. I see it as insecurity, as if a man will suddenly run off and leave his wife/girlfriend for an attractive stranger on the street. Clearly, this is an insane notion. Personally, I believe that men and women are a lot more similar than they think, or would like to be.
Oh and I've never fallen over myself for a stranger, hot or not, and the only ones I've ever met who do have been under 25 and can't really be classed as men, just boys.
I'd have to analize the circunstances of that study to believe the results to be accurate as they go against the already well established and extensively tested principle that men are more visually sensitive than women. I'm preety confident the sample they selected wasn't representative and thus the result came like that.
Believe me, I spent a semester in college studying on how to lie with statistics, there are so many ways to do it you wouldn't believe another percentage you hear on the news.
Just think, if a girl strips naked and enters the men's locker room, how do you think the men inside wil react? "Wooot! Party time!". Now the reverse, if a man strips nakes and enters the women's locker room do you see the same happening? Personally I can see the man being beated to death and authorities being called. That doesn't really fit with that study does it? Women are quite frequently much less curious about the male body than the reverse. Actually until a certain age the general reaction to a naked body of the opposite sex is drooling from boys and giggling from girls.
Did you ever hear about a scandal with hidden cameras being planted in the men's bathroom?
And Toby, I did say that most men don't go after stunning strangers leaving everything behind. For Most usually their stance towards that is "I'm just browsing".
If you know some guy who went after a girl like that leaving wife or girlfriend behind, I'm pretty confident that girl talked to him at least once or twice and pressed his buttons in some way. That or he's a rapist since that's the only way I can imagine someone going around another person he doesn't know.
the same reason girls go crazy over guys who have high testosterone, because it is about the pinnacle of what the opposite sex can be
it is just a sad reality of life, I say this as a guy who used to have a high testosterone, and girls were always nice to me and gave me hints they were interested, and since my problem last year, girls see a weakness in me and they let me know right away they aren't interested
Just a sad reality of life, if you are blessed with good looks or a high testosterone enjoy it because there is nothing better in life, especially if you are a guy with a high testosterone
lol, i def dont go after girls for sex myself. I really dont care about sex when it comes to a relationship, it is all in with how attractive they are to me and more importantly their personality. The hottest girl on this planet could offer me sex, and I can honestly say Id say no. I think it all depends too on what the guy is looking for. Me, im looking for someone longterm, so sex isnt a biggy on the priority list. For guys that are just looking for a quick time, or just dating and not really concerned if it goes anywhere or not, then ya they're prob looking for someone with similar interests, but can also get some action on the side. If not, they sometimes they cheat to get the action.
looks dont matter that much do they? hot or not, if i get on with them then great. if not, why bother.
I don't need scientific analysis. I've been alone all my life and am desperately lonely. If I see someone I find attractive, I can't help but react.
I think this statement has a lot of truth to it. Not for all men, but a strong number of them. I came across this quote while browsing through some articles online. I remembered this topic and thought I'd share =
Sounds harsh and very blunt, but once more, I think it has some truth. I've seen this happen too many times with men I've known. Girlfriends will treat them atrociously and they'll stick around just because of their looks. If their girlfriends were plain, I think they would've ended the relationships earlier.
I wasn't entirely sure how to reply to this Linds.I know I personally haven't even really been attracted to any women lately and I wa never one to care about looks at all.
All men are this way. 95% of them at least, just want to get laid. I mean I could write paragraphs about it like others have, but it's simple really, men just want to get laid.
You know what. When I started this thread I think I was just mad about how I see (ex) stupidly attractive friends and how life is sooo easy for them because men give them everything they want.
Some of them don't even have jobs yet they have a credit card, a car and a flat - rent free.
I don't know of any men living like this off of women they are dating and it astounds me.
Then I started remembering our nights out, men would do almost ANYTHING to talk to them, get near them. Like they were f*cking celebrities or something. It's just a pretty girl I wanted to say to them 'dude chill out and take a breath'.
I mean, I know not ALL men do it, but almost every single one I've encountered does.
its not love. its instincts. god made me do it.
guys have an instinct to mate with the best mate they could mate with. normally features like good health, intelligence, or strength would be admired over beauty. because our society has changed the needs of survival. allowing beautiful people to normally be more accepted. beauty is now a desire to mate with.
i dont know why women arent as hormonal as men. ive met a few women who dont want children. who dont want marriage. who dont lust for men, or even have the instinct to know what kind of mate they want.