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why do people have children?!

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one of the things i (obsessively) think about is trying to figure out WHY would people chose to have children ?

i firmly believe that all societies should introduce a test or examination that you have to take before you're allowed to have children. [and if you have kids without passing the test you should be forced to take a class in proper parenting & basic mental health, and if you fail that then your kids should be taken away]

when thinking about my own parents, why couldn't they just notice how screwed up they were and realize that they shouldn't have had any children because any children they would have would necessarily live a life of pain & suffering. ppl are so retarded, they don't even think about it for 1 second i'm sure; they just go along whatever bullshit cultural-social brainwashing they swallowed unconsciously.

if they had any self-awareness whatsoever, this would be their thought process: "i want to have kids [for some unknown reason], but look at all these bad habits & negative emotions I have all day long every day, so how can my children possibly have any happiness when I have no happiness whatsoever. so out of compassion its best to NOT have children or [at the very least!] try to fix myself first"

how can you give to someone something you don't even have yourself?
I agree with you there because of my own experience my parents were always shy and angered and there genetics of personality has passed on to me exept the anger part well maybe just a lil:dry: but I hate the shyness part!:mad:
Sometimes birth control doesn't always work. Sometimes you are mentally fine one day, but a couple years later your mentally unstable. Who is to judge what proper parenting really is?

This is just my 1 cent comment. (having 2 sons of my own and 1 step son)


Sometimes birth control doesn't always work. Sometimes you are mentally fine one day, but a couple years later your mentally unstable. Who is to judge what proper parenting really is?
people who are experts on how the mind works: psychologists and stuff.

why the fuck do we have driving exams to get a driving license so you can drive? all the same things apply to that just the same as if we had a parenting licence thing. parenting is a billion times more important than driving, its the most important thing in the world, and yet there's no tests or good education for it.

most of public education should be based around how to be a good parent and control your emotions, understand others emotions, etc... instead of learning bullshit you'll never use in life anyway. lets see, what's more important:
-learn how to solve a quadratic equation or some shit
-learn how to control your emotions so your kids won't end up suicidal.

hmmmmmmmmm. which could be more important?!

and yet there's no attempt to even teach the 2nd thing, every school in every country only teaches irrelevant bullshit that no-one ever needs in real life.
The parents should be the ones to teach their children how to parent. how to raise healthy (physical and mentally) kids. If we didn't have algebra, english, or biology, we wouldn't have many of the things we have today. How would you explain to them that they are not allowed to have children because they are bad for society? How would that be fair to these people to have equal rights?

I see what your saying though. I don't disagree for the most part. Personally I believe that parents it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a semester or two of how to parent. Or even a college course or public service seminars. I had this neighbor growing up in a small town. The parents were such losers. When I say losers, I'm talking, abusive, acoholic, possibly drugs, let the house run down, let the kids lay out of school, let the kids do what ever and when ever. Between them they had about five kids. All have grown up to be unheath for society. They are drop outs, and violent, and simply uncaring about others. One was so ignorant that he couldn't get in the army. They should have never been allowed to have kids. THe worst part of it....now these children are grown (teenage) and have kids of their own. What ever happen to survival of the fittest? Why have these people not been weeded out by natural selection?


SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Good question, and one I've often wondered myself. I have four daughters and in my worst moments I wish I hadn't had any as I doubt my abilities as a mother, indeed, as a human being. But depression and self-loathing aside, the other reason I often wish I hadn't had any kids is that I worry what kind of world are we leaving to them? Pollution, war, deficits, no jobs, skyrocketing expenses, decimation of the environment and wildlife... need I go on?:sad: That's mostly my reason for desiring retroactive birth control. But then... one of my kids could well be influential in saving our world from certain disaster, in un-doing the damage we've done. So maybe it was right that I had kids. Only time will tell...:unsure:

Yes, I share your concern about unfit parents. You have to get legal permission to do just about anything... except to reproduce and be responsible for another life or lives. By the same reasoning, why do people have dogs only to chain them in the back yard for a lifetime of solitary confinement???:sad: (my pet peeve:mad: )

still wondering,



Well-Known Member
It's understandable for you to feel that way. I myself have never met my birth mother but am forever resentful that she would give me up rather than just opt for an abortion. Having kids is actually pretty selfish if you think about it.
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SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I know someone who was adopted and feels grateful to her birth mother for having given her up so that she could be adopted by the wonderful family she has now, and has had since she was very small. Sometimes, I think, giving up a child for adoption is done out of great love for the child - especially if the birth mother feels she cannot raise the child properly herself and wishes a better life for her child than she can give. There are many sides to the adoption/abortion issue. It depends a great deal on where you stand. One's perspective alters one's view of events and situations.




Staff Alumni
I cant imagine ever being a father, although ive often been told id make a pretty good one. The planet is already overpopulated...my lack of offspring is doing everyone a favour.


Active Member
I also agree that some sort of liscensing should be in place for having children. A steady financial situation would probably be one of the huge factors in it too.

I wish my parents would have thought twice personally. What were they thinking? Do people only have kids because "its the thing to do"?


Well-Known Member
animalistic instinct, or natural instinct. Some poeple should not be able to have kids. People who cant raise them right. Like if you are dirt poor and starving it should end with you, but idiots make more people and they continue the cycle. Abortion is okay imo, some people would be better off never living.


I wish my parents would have thought twice personally. What were they thinking? Do people only have kids because "its the thing to do"?
yes, i think in a lot of cases it's simply social conditioning [ie. brainwashing] which encourages the biological possibility of ejaculating --> making kids.

isn't it interesting how the simple act of ejaculation is the whole basis of soooooooooooooo much suffering that ppl go through?


Well-Known Member
I don't know. this is a very very important issue. I went through a phase in between my recent "End of the world" breakdown and my suicidal period where I was constantly spouting off about "mass sterilization." I was thinking that almost all of the global crises would be resolved in one generation's time if there were a way to sterilize, at random, a huge portion of the global population. With fewer people (much, much fewer) the hunger crisis would disappear, the earth would have time to recover her resources, overcrowding and pollution would be solved, and the list goes on an on. But it appears now that liscensing as a prerequisite to childbirth would necessitate forced abortion in the case of a failed test. the technology exists to control how many children are born, but it places in hands I personally don't trust the power that God gave us all, to replicate our DNA in another lifeform. Its not natural. Free will is wasted on the ignorant but it belongs to the individual and it is not ours to take away.
I'm still not sure how I feel on this issue, but it's a good one to discuss, so excuse the rambling....
We're stuck between removing a basic human biological right and following a neverending path to educate the stupid about parenting and ethics, and about the holes in organized religion's plan for lots of babymaking. Between waiting for something that is never really coming and actively taking away the right to make up your mind and have a child, Which one is really more humanitarian? Hell if I know.


Well-Known Member
I know exactly what you mean when you say people should be allowed to have children who can't be good parents. My parents are probably as screwed up as yours and it feels like the only things they have taught me is how to hate myself and be depressed.

I don't think there is any good education on being a parent either. I did take family living in high school but it seems like the only thing we learned about were the different STDs. I know it doesn't make sense but that's basically all we did.
non_existence, you seem to think the way I do on many points. I believe psychology should be at the forefront of our society, and that parenting classes should be free to the public along with complete reform of our educational systems and many other things (including free professional care available for children in need) but I won't get into it all here, as the list would be quite exhaustive if I were to start discussing everything.

It's very refreshing to see others saying what I've been advocating so much for years now. Thank you so much for this thread, it gives me hope that there are at least some rational people left in this world. The reality is that the people reproducing the most are not heavy thinkers. They act and do things on impulse, while those who think deeply tend to analyze and plan ahead. It is then understandable why so many gifted intellectuals are in the stark minority, and fall into depression and suffer due to not feeling comfortable with the majority of the general population. Who *would* feel comfortable around people who always act on instinct rather than reason. Sorry if I sound cynical, but it's true. ;P
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