So today I posted on another forum. The topic was about how a potential mates appearance plays into your decision to make them your mate. The short of my answer was it is very important to me because sex is what separates a mate from a friend. In my book anyway. It is really simple, and something I am proud of. Yes I want a female I have a primal attraction too. I have that standard. People treat me like I am raping children when I admit that. Why is my belief so invalid? Seriously, is it so hard to believe that the line between friend and mate is so very thin? I also hate how when I confront someone with my question of "How do you know someone is a lover/significant other/mate?" I always get a blank stare. Really when it gets down too it you give your attention to the person you are fucking. Why because sex is fun and feels good. No one seems to want to believe that. No one answers when I say "So you could be with your mate for the rest of your life and love them and give them your full attention if you were not sleeping with them?" Well I generally get an answer "yes of course" then when I challenge them to do so they do not seem to last. I also despise how people tell me a great personality is better than a nice body. That drives me up the wall. Why can't physically attractive mates have great personalities too? Seriously, there is this whole.. conspiracy that if you are physically attractive you have to be a terrible person. What drives me up the wall even more is when people treat me like garbage for wanting both. I just do not get it. Why is it so wrong to want a female I am attracted too and who shares my interests and is a good person? Why is that so wrong? What did law am I breaking here? Fuck I do not really care if the person has a bad personality as long as they give me the attention I need and have sex with me I can deal with less of a personality. Why am I not allowed to have what I want? I mean I why settle? This is a companion and a mate you have to spend the rest of your life with. What is so wrong with having the best mate you can possibly find? I hate how people tell me that they are marrying someone because they are a good person. I hate it even more when I tell them they are settling. I do this more with males than females. Why BECAUSE GUYS ARE WIRED THAT WAY!!!!! We do not choose mates based on their status. We choose mates based on their looks. That is what we do. That is who we are and that is just how things are. I do not care how awesome of a person she is. That is not going to trigger your primal instinct to want to reproduce. You can lie and say it does, however, it does not. I see so many guys giving up because they just do not want to put forth the effort to get the better mates. ---- I become kind of biased towards my conversations with males here ---- Do not get me wrong it makes me happy too, but at the same time it makes me sad. I see so many guys, like my roommate, just giving up. "Some Sex is better than no sex". I agree, personally I wish I had a desperate ugly female I could con into having sex with me so I could get the tension out of my system. However, I can put that tension to good use. It makes me sad to see so many guy settling. They just give up because it is too hard to be the best. I sit on this forum and several other forums reading about guys who are in love with a girl but do not get to be with her because she is dating an alpha guy. However, instead of becoming that alpha guy they cry to the internet. I used to do it too. However, no more, why can't more people say "Hey I want to be that guy! I want to have a girl like her!" I know I am better than that guy. Well guess what friend, you are obviously doing something wrong. Men are just as guilty of this as women. We get lost in how things should be and not the way they are. You see the cheating guy out there. Yeah he is ruining females for us. However, he must be doing something right. Because no matter what we say or how we scough at him. He is still attracting women. So why do so many men just turn a blind eye to the idea of learning from him? --- Back to everyone ---- Everyone says that despite how much they hate themselves they do not want to lose themselves. First off everyone looks at this the wrong way. You are not losing yourself you are evolving. Look back to when you were 8. Are you the same person now? No, however, there are parts of you that still exist and are still there. Me I do not play baseball anymore. However, I played from the age of 6 to 16. I am qualified to coach teams. I played the clarinet for... god... 14 years. I still have that skill I just do not have the motivation to play as there are other things that interest me more. Those abilities are still there. Your likes are still there. They are just there in a different light. They have become part of who you are. I think that is the problem so many of us have. We cling to our love of something. For me it was anime and video games. I let those define who I was. As opposed to being an interest that makes me unique and awesome. No one likes someone who is defined by something else. Whether that be anime,a sports team, working out, or a significant other. Because you are not you then. You are whatever that thing tells you to be. You live for something other than yourself. It is sad and pathetic. It makes you an easy target for manipulation. What do you have to lose tell me? Better yet tell me what would you give up for happiness? In my signature There is a QRCode that says. This is the quote that inspired me to evaluate what being truly happy and wanting to live was worth to me. What would I give up to obtain something more and much better than what I have? Yet when I ask others this same question they cannot answer me. When I pull out this quote to others they just sort of stare off. I guess it is because it is from a Manga author. So to increase my credibility here is one from a famous US president You know this is a very true quote. Whether it be in love or something else. The world is just that way. The first one to find something gets to keep and use it and discard it if they do not like it. That is all I see on a lot of forums I still go to... Men and women just sitting around looking for sympathy. I am here so I am guilty of it too.. Maybe I seek comrades in the wrong places... I go to places where everyone thinks about how they are going to fail. Instead of thinking about how they will succeed. I know how I am going to succeed. I love to shout it because I know it pisses people off. I am going to finish losing weight. Then I am going to go out and seduce tons of women. I will likely break a lot of hearts and use a lot of women. You know what I do not care. I will do evil if I have known it will make me into a better person. I know I will be better off for it. Because doing good has gotten me very little. The one day, in a few years, I will find balance. Then I will settle down and find that someone. That is not to say that I won't find someone while I am out sewing my wild oats. I wonder how many people think I am full of shit? Probably all of you if you read my more recent posts. Yeah I was depressed. However, those posts were as much a wake up call for me as they were painful. They showed me that I was falling behind and I needed to get my priorities straight. I needed to buckle down and further commit to bettering myself.... Anyway, I am out of steam... so thanks for reading. If you can find something to comment on please do.. It has been a really stressful couple of days for me. So sorry for taking it out on this forum. Again thanks for reading.