Why do people lie?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ~PinkElephants~, Dec 14, 2008.

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  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I pose this question because I've become increasingly irritated with the lies I've been fed lately.

    What do you think the main intent for people to lie is? I mean some of the stories that I've been fed not only on sf but in real life are so far fetched and the facts don't add up etc. So, why do people do it? Do they have a problem? Do they feel they have to lie to feel loved, important, wanted? I'm just curious as to what people think?

    I personally think that there is an underlying problem with the person if they feel they have to lie. They might be covering up some form of truth by making up some far fetched story. They might feel completely unloved in the real world so to feel wanted they weave a web of stories to feel like they are supported/loved. Who knows?

  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I think people lie to make themselves more interesting or for attention or to make people notice them. I think it's an underlying problem such as low self esteem etc...

    As for people making up a whole web of stories..I have seen that a lot on SF, I have no clue as to why they do it here though:unsure:

    Interesting post Kelly.
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i agree with lynn but i think its the same here, maybe more so coz some want to fit in so much they make themselves be more interesting
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Some people lie so they can be perceived as interesting and unique. Some lie cuz they choose to and find it amusing.
    I've met a person who is a compulsive liar and yet he is not aware he is not telling the truth.
  5. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member


    I've noticed that lately as well and that honestly is what gets me so irate. We are at a forum to help people and the need to sift through the lies is overwhelming it seems lately. How can we accurately(try) to help someone when we don't know whether or not they are telling the truth?

    For the most part I've been keeping my mouth shut lately because calling people out on their lies seems to only get me in trouble. It seems rather then to help them I have to ignore them because my means of helping them consists of figuring out why the feel they have to lie to get my or others attention. So, now instead of helping I let others try to sift through it and decide for themselves(half the time I have to sit on my hands).

    I find it sad that people feel they need to lie about some extravagent event just to feel like they belong. I mean I feel obsolete at times but I do not feel like I have to make up stories to fit in. I am who I am whether I hate myself or not. I choose to go about things differently and if that makes me an outsider and/or hated so be it. I just feel like a lie is so pointless. It wastes people's time and instead of helping someone that might genuinely need it, we waste it on a bold faced lie. :dunno:
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I really admire your thoughts on this. You are completely right. It's almost impossible to help someone when what they are saying doesn't add up. Why come here for help if they aren't going to tell the truth about whats going on for them. It doesn't make any sense.

    ''half the time I have to sit on my hands''

    That made me LOL:laugh:

    For the people who I suspect are making up stories, I always just offer to listen because they wouldn't be on SF if they didn't need someone to talk to.

    I'm looking forward to reading the replies to this thread. :hug:
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Fuck liars. I don't have time for them. Someone lies to me, I don't deal with them.
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    If someone is making things up with that intent then it's understandable why a person who is trying to help, would be upset about it.

    If someone for example doesn't want it be known that it's them who is suicidal and so they say someone they know is, in place of them, then that is also understandable.

    Intent is the big factor here.
  9. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    If someone says "I know a guy who is depressed, suicidal, cuts etc." then I completely understand the anonymity surrounding it. Sometimes I wish that I didn't dole out so much about me and instead said a friend. That I would never hold someone accountable for.

    My problem is the stories along the lines of "my arms are bleeding so much etc. and yet I'm still typing perfectly fine even though I'm pouring pints of blood everywhere" That is where I become frustrated. Same thing along the lines of "i drank so much etc. but I can still type and form sentances coherently". Those border on attention seeking to me and I don't see the point of it. If you want help scream help. If you want attention say "well fuck I'd really like someone to talk to about myself" I'd be more than happy to sit there and banter on with you. No questions asked.

    I don't know..maybe it's the times, maybe it's ageism, who knows really.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    People lie for so many reasons. I think one of the main reasons here is that they feel in order to be heard something terrible has to happen. That is not truth, but it is the way it is perceived. They probably are lacking in attention in some way. Once the lies begin they continue to grow until the inconsistencies appear. By then they are in too deep to get out so more lies are told to cover for the earlier ones. Sometimes the lie was repeated so often that the person believe it themselves. It is sad really. These people need help to as this is a real issue and sometimes there are hidden things behind them.
  11. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    I think the bottom line on why people lie is fear. Whether it's fear of not fitting in, fear fo not being taken seriously, fear of appearing to be boring or whatever. The underlying cause is that fear. These people deserve as much help as anyone else but I fully understand the frustration you feel.:smile:
  12. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I actually can. I'm very particular about that... Standing is more problematic for me.
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Lying is just part of our society Kiana, you just have to get used to it. Some people lie because they have to cover their asses, but other people lie just for the hell of it. I try to always tell the truth, but sometimes the truth hurts.
  14. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I know lying is a part of society. I was asking why people lie Dave. I wasn't asking about the society and if they lie or not. I'm looking to see people's thoughts on why some people do it.
  15. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    IMO, everyone above has offered valid ideas.

    I think there are many reasons for why people lie. Sometimes it's to get attention the liar doesn't think they could get otherwise. Sometimes it's because they don't feel good about themselves. Some people are habitual or compulsive liars, and it's part of their overall personality and issues to "exaggerate". Some people might live in a fantasy world and not "know" they are lying when they do. Some people lie to manipulate other people. Most of us have told little fibs - "little white lies" ("Really, that top looks good on you!" when weactually think it looks bad) and these little fibs are often told to spare someone's feelings.

    Big lies might be told to keep oneself out of trouble.

    People come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, mindsets, and with various ingrained experiences and behaviors. Whether or not I call someone on a untruth depends on the relationship, the situation, and the person.

    The older and more emotionally mature and settled the person is, the more I would hope for and even expect honesty.
  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Some people lie to F**K with your head and to hurt others. They get there jollies that way!!!
  17. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Some people, like me, are just fucking pathological with lies. They come out and I don't even know until I've said it what I've said.

    For me, I'd rather lie than tell the truth to most people because they're fucking snakes and they'll just tell everyone what I said. So better to be thought a liar than have people know what I'm really like.
  18. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i dont take lies personaly. whoever lies suffers and hides behind lies. that is what i keep in mind so i never get upset about it. some hide like hammockmonkey to avoid becoming a reason to back talk in family or else.

    i'm old yet i lie. I call them 'white lies' as i hide how i feel not to over worry those close to me and have my problems become of public dominium in family grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    there are many reasons that leads a person to use lies so before judging, get to know the person and what led that person to use lies and you might have a bad surprise in finding how deep a person is hurting.

  19. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I agree with what you have said especially about someone saying there arm is bleeding pints and yet they can still string together sentences, etc.

    This is a forum with an international range of members, therefore the mentalities and experiences of the members are vast as well. Perhaps those people think that the only way to start conversations or make a connection is to make something up that the other person can relate to.
  20. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    hmmmm....why do people lie, interesting question.

    As far as internet forums go, I think people lie because its easy. Given the annonymous nature of the internet, its hard to get caught in a lie, and even if you do get caught, there's no way to be held accountable for your lies. Most people who spend alot of time online do so because they are dissatisfied with their real life in some way. The internet is like a fantasy world where you can be whatever you want to be. If someone feels that their real life isnt interesting enough to warrent people's freindship or sympathy, then they can always just make up a false personna. If they get caught, then who cares, they can just move on to a different forum or re-register under a new name and start fresh. Its not like real life where you are held accountable.

    Given that this is a suicide forum, with the main focus being on help/support, Its easy to see why people would exagerate the severity of their problems or just flat out make shit up all together. The worse off you appear to be, the more friends, hugs, sympathy you are going to get..............right?
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