why do people make pacts?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Wastingecho, Mar 2, 2010.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    first, let me say that i'm not looking for one or asking for suggestions on how to make one

    my brain is a little sleep deprived and for whatever reason these questions are stuck in my mind so rather than leave them sitting there making me nuts i figured i would post them

    why would someone want to enter into a suicide pact?

    does it actually help or just create more pressure to do it?

    if you find yourself in one, how can you get out without feeling bad or guilty for the other party?
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I've been in the position where it was discussed between me and a friend at the time. I personally was so desperate to die, and was scared to do it alone and would loved for me to die with someone and to not have to be alone with it.

    However, I could never have done it because I saw hope for that person even though she never saw hope for herself. I'm glad I didn't do it because she is now a mum and happy. I, I'm stuck in the same hell still, but she has moved forward.

    So, as ironic as it sounds, I think they are quite selfish, to be honest.

    The way to get out is to think about the other person because even if you can't see hope for yourself, you can often see it for others, and so getting out of it would be a positive thing because it would enable the other person to achieve their best (this is the way to look at it if you can't get out of it for yourself). In time hopefully, you would be able to see hope for yourself too and realise it was a good thing you didn't go through with it, for whatever reason.
  3. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Not alone, more pressure= Easier to do.
  4. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I don't know what you mean by that. What is a suicide pact?
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I've actually been approached here, several times. I'm no longer sure how i feel about it. The first couple times i was quite vulnerable and likely it would have been enough encouragement for me to go through with it. ...even though it is something i disapprove of.

    i think if you need someone else, in order to kill yourself, you are not ready to die...i don't know. just my own opinion. if you cannot yet stand alone to do this, then how is it you can be ready?

    suicide to me, seems like such a personal thing...something one does on their own, alone, and does not share. kind of you just go off in a corner, don't tell anyone or say anything, and just do it.

    also, i always felt doing it with someone, was like murder. again just my own thoughts on it.

    i too, would like to hear opinions of others and their reasonings.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    If anyone is approached here, please let admin/senior mods know...we have SF to be a safe place for all members...J
  7. Darc

    Darc Well-Known Member

    I agree with Kali...suicide is something that only concerns oneself, and dragging others into it, just because of the fear of dying alone, seems irrational, irresponsible and selfish to me...I don't know why anyone would want to do that. Because even if all parties would go through with the pact, in the end, everyone dies for themselves anyway...And like Scum said, there's always hope for at least one party to move on and be happy...to destroy that would really come close to murder, if it was wanted or not...
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I would want one because I don't want to die alone. I've been terribly alone in life, I'd like to go out next to someone in death.
  9. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    i made one with li dao lol (William Melchert-Dinkel)
    i do funny stuffs when im down

    you just feel alone and lonely.. and its like.. when you find someone who "understand you"
    and "is going throw the same"
    and will help you to end it all..
    idk.. its some weird supported feeling

    but when you find its a shit.. you feel totally betrayed
    its not like 100% secure to make a pact
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    so with a pact, should each person be responsible for the taking of their own life? Should one person take both lives? What if one chickens out at the last minute? Does the other one take out that person because they had a pact? Do people get in pacts get mad enough, that they would just take the other persons life (i mean does that happen)? Are these verbal agreements?
  11. twc

    twc Well-Known Member

    Suicide pacts are pretty well-known in Japan. They happen in clusters and get a lot of news coverage. Movies are made about them, and there are even certain parts of the country (forests usually) where people tend to carry them out. All kinds of wild things happen though-- often 1 or 2 people who are the last ones alive don't end up doing it.

    I'm not Japanese, or in Japan, I've just read about this.
  12. twc

    twc Well-Known Member

    Also there have been cluster of suicides in Wales in the last couple of years. I don't know if there were pacts involved but they were usually people who knew each other.
  13. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    don't know why, but i find this topic scary. think that is why i want to know more.
  14. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    Because dying alone is a terribly daunting task and when you have someone that'd willingly die with you; for the moment it makes things so much better for the moment.

    I'm not saying that I'd actually want to take someone down with me, because that alone is another feeling in itself.
  15. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    I have got pact with my dog. When he goes, I go.
  16. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    1.does each person die by their own hand?

    2.does one person take on the burden of responsibility for both?

    3.does the stronger person take it on as a mission to help the weaker of the two follow through?

    4.what if the weaker of the two would never have followed through on their own?

    5.how does each party know the other one is doing it for the right reasons, and not just because they feel sorry for the other person?

    6.how does the one taking on the burden for both, know with certainty, that the other has not changed their mind?

    7.is it right for the one to take out the other, if the other has merely expressed a desire and has not actually entered a pact?

    8.is there a sign on the dotted line piece of paper? Is there some kind of association or something, that has suggested guidelines to follow, for people considering this? like is there a website? (ooh don't post i think it is against the rules...just a yes or no)

    9.how does each assure, they will not be looked upon as a murderer, after their death?

    10. what if one is doing the deed for both, and at the last minute the other has a change of heart...does the one still take the other out, because they had an agreement?

    HA, is there an attorney in the sf family house? Ha ha, doubt he/she wants to tackle this though.

    i don't know, i still thinks it's a private, in the closet, go off by one's self sort of thing, although i do understand those who prefer having company (although this is definately not for me. i couldn't do it. I'm too private).

    Can't someone who plans to stay alive, just be with the one doing it, just to keep them company when they go? (hell, this happened to my son, but not by choice-he had no clue. The other party intended him to be there, and he was there, right to the last breath-didn't know what was going on until it was over)

    in my head it still edges towards murder. just my way of thinking though.

    Do we have a poll going on with this thread?

    okay, now i am very sick to my stomach again.

    i don't feel too good.

  17. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i would imagine that any pacts made are personal and the details likewise

    there are no guarantees that if one goes through with it the other won't change their minds

    i personally don't think pacts are healthy - my suicide is MY suicide - i would not want to influence anyone else's choice because of mine
  18. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i'm beginning to think this option is not so terrible.
    if two or more people are solid and sure of what
    they desire, i suppose it could be mutually
    beneficial. At least a person would not be alone (if
    alone is something that bothers them).
  19. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    I would never do it with another human. I do not want to be a reason why other would do it. I am honored to be in at one suicide letter "...and she did not care about me". I did not even knew he was wanted me to care.... That is enough for me what comes about another human lifes.
  20. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i have a problem seeing anything about this as beneficial

    when i've been at that point, i've felt that it was necessary, desirable, unavoidable, but never as good or beneficial

    if someone doesn't want to be alone it would be better to reach out to people who want to be with them and help them cope

    to me pacts are like promises - in our states they can put too much unwanted additional pressure on us

    my doctor wanted me to promise that i would call him before i did anything "permanent" - i told him i couldn't

    if i had made that promise i know that i would have failed it which would only have deepened the pain and made it that much more likely that i would have followed through

    the only kind of commitment that i can make for myself at this point is the commitment to TRY and post when i can't handle it on my own anymore - some days i do better than others but so far it seems to be something i can do

    the only other commitment that i can make to this forum is to try and be there for people whom i can identify with and care about
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