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Why do people pretend to understand? **may trigger*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by HarleyTwin, Jun 24, 2009.

  1. HarleyTwin

    HarleyTwin Staff Alumni

    Seriously. I am so sick of everyone assuming that my panic attacks are just as easy to control as theirs or anyone else's and give me the same fucking techniques that I've tried over a billion times and they insist on telling me that it works or I'm not doing it right, or whatever other fucking thing they say I 'm calling an excuse.

    Why is it so fucking hard for people to understand that mine are different? Why are some people always insisting that they have the magical fucking cure I've been trying a million ways to find for the last 6 years? Why does everyone always fucking assume that I'm doing something wrong that it's not working.

    I already fucking know I'm not doing something right because they're still fucking here. If I wasn't doing anything wrong, I wouldn't still have them, would I? Morons. My mother has had panic attacks, and she doesn't even understand mine, my father tried to understand and talk me through one last year, and it still failed. Hell, he was the CAUSE of it! And now my own family is telling me the whole "ignore/distraction/breathing" technique shit...that I've just told her 3 times, DOES. NOT. WORK.

    What the fuck is WRONG with these people? I'm not a normal panic disorder case, I'm not a normal fucking people, I have issues not even my own family cares to listen about, and I can't even explain it to them because it's just their way of seeing I'm making another fucking excuse. Do they think I WANT panic attacks? Do they think I haven't tried almost every fucking cliche and even non-cliche trick in and out of the fucking book? Do they even realize how fucking frightened I get when I get hysterical and start hallucinating and screaming without knowledge?

    Do they even give a shit? Why the hell do they insist on trying to play Captain Save-A-Nut when they don't even see inside my head? Sure, they've seen my have panic attacks, they've seen me freak out and THINK they can help fix it, they might have them themselves and the tricks work for them, but how many times do I have to fucking tell them it's not the same?

    I do not sweat. I do not have a phantom heart attack. I do NOT have normal symptoms. I get psychotic. I see and hear things, feel or don't feel things, my world spins, my mind tracks to thoughts that I hope they don't even have in the deepest parts of hell because they're beyond cruel. I have flashbacks and chanting in my head that prevents me from even saying a certain word in fear of making my face and hands morph and mould like plastecine (literally) without my control.

    I can't take medication because the thought of it in my system sets me off. I can't breathe deeply because my mind is too occupied with the fact my breathing is repetative like a fucking chant and only makes it worse, I can't even watch a simple commercial on TV to "distract" myself because the sounds and graphics make me hallucinate.

    Why can't they see it in my eyes? Why the fuck did I have to have them so different that people have no fucking idea what it's like even when they claim to have them? What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with THEM?

  2. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, it must be frightening to deal with what you have to, in regards to your panic attacks. I can't relate to those (I've had panic attacks, but they are fairly typical), but people seem to be the same way towards me with my own personal problems. Its like if something worked for them or the majority of everyone else, they are absolutely sure it HAS to work for me, or you. They just don't realize that each situation is soo different.

    I have a seemingly incurable anxiety problem: medications, therapy, obsessive reading and practice on my part, and the incessant coxing of friends have not helped at ALL. People still INSIST they know what will help me, even though I have been trying those methods for the past 10 years. They just don't get it! I feel your frustration.

    And again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
  3. Jemi200

    Jemi200 Well-Known Member

    Check to see if you're Bipolar, Schizo, or any other condition that evokes visual and audio images.

    I don't know if this will clear it, but if you live by what's causing your panic attacks try separating from it for a while to see if you leave it. Envrionment is just as big a cause as brain chemistry sometimes.

    Good luck.