Why do so many people get to be loved?

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by deferred dream, Dec 28, 2009.

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  1. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    Most people can say "Maybe I didn't have everything as a child but I was loved." Why can't I even say that? It's so goddamn unfair, I've never had love and never will. This is all I'll ever have, memories of a horrible, neglectful, abuseful childhood and fear of everything and everyone in the world. I just want to die so I can forget how painful it is to be totally worthless and unloved. Why is it so fucking unfair?
     
  2. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    It is unfair - and there is no answer for why...

    I am so sorry to hear of the past and how awful it has made you feel...

    You were treated as if you were worthless, but that doesn't mean you are worthless, just makes you feel that way.

    I've used the example before...that you are, as any child is, like the beautiful gift of a rare jewel given to your parents, and they threw you in a load of crap....It stinks, and you can even get lost in the muck...but when you take that valuable jewel out of the filth, and clean it off - it is still a valuable jewel. Not worthless at all - only treated that way.

    The pain of remembering such horrific abuse is so intense it can make you feel like dying - you need help to process the pain, and clean off the garbage your parents threw at you. Do you have anyone to talk to - a counselor?

    Take care of yourself...find someone who can help you sort through the feelings... keep posting...

    :hug:
     
  3. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    I was never loved either, nor am I now. It disappoints me how many people out there have bfs and gfs yet they still complain so much. They need to realise how lucky they are.
     
  4. Tired32

    Tired32 Active Member

    Hey my friend. I know it hurts. I have been there as well. But you are a beautiful person and worthy of love. It is not your fault but theirs. I am learning that now myself. This world needs you. I am here if you need me.
     
  5. maxcreigs

    maxcreigs New Member

    “I don’t do anything I don’t love anymore… . While people chase money I pursue happiness. So many people talk about there investments or how much money they have but there’s so many rich people who spend a lot of that trying 2 buy a piece of happiness
     
  6. pointblank

    pointblank Member

    I feel the same way. I was physically and verbally abused as a child every day and it only got worse as I got older. The physical abuse stopped when I was 14 and the cops came to our house several times because the school would see my bruises. Then after the cops would leave our house, they'd beat me again and blame me for the cops coming in the first place.

    I was at a function recently where there were a lot of families showing much affection to their kids and disciplining them in the right way. I found it so strange yet happy for those kids that they will grow up normal.

    I think that while being abused messes us up royally, we kind of know what NOT to do in the future with our other relationships. It's unfair that some of us are abused regularly but working through these issues helps to grow in to a better person.
     
  7. adesu

    adesu Member

    I wish I could say I could understand, but I know that no one can really trully understand. What I can say is this;
    I know what it feels like to question every day why no one loves me.
    The best advice I can give is to keep on going. PROVE to them that they had no choice over where you went in your life. PROVE to them that no matter what they did to you, you aren't useless and you do deserve love.

    Because you do. You deserve love.
    What they did, who ever or whatever they think they are, was the reason why you're able to ask a question and really want the answer.

    It always bothers me when the people I know ask things like "oh why oh why didn't I get what I wanted for my birthday" or "why did i get a c on my test i'm more awesome than this".

    And I know its hard to want to know the answer to a question thats so much less superficial than that.
    What I can tell you is this;
    You are alive now. That's more than whoever ignored and hurt you tried to give you, so you've already overpowered them.
    Everything will feel wrong for a while, and I know it's hard.
    It's harder than regular people can deal with, but...
    You, me, us, a lot of us here...
    We're all living proof that you have the strength to carry on no matter what they did.
    You have the strength to keep trying.
    You have the strength to find a place where you feel you belong
     
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