Why do some people hate people with depression?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by bleach, Jul 20, 2008.

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  1. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    This really bothers me. Whenever the topic comes up, or I am on one of these forums, there always seems to be at least one person who gets angry and hostile at other people for being depressed.

    I'm not talking about someone they are close to either, that would be understandable. I mean complete strangers that be all rights should not care at all. Or if they do care you would at least expect them to be sympathetic. Why is it any skin off their ass at all if someone else is having a bad time?

    Do you know what I'm saying or am I talking gibberish?
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    because the person with depression is expressing things that the people who feel uncomfortable with their own feelings have difficulty with themselves?

    that the people who seem to hate people with depression just have difficulty coping or don't know what to do or feel frustrated?

    i don't know. just a few ideas.
  3. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    It seems to me that depression is hard to understand for people who haven't experienced it....I include Mental health professionals in that.
  4. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    i would say its lack of understanding e.g. 'how can somebody be sad/want to kill themself? etc' or somehow a fear of the unknown e.g. 'that person is depressed they must be crazy, keep away from them'.

    i think its mainly confusion from people, i havent really experienced people really getting angry or hostile about it.
  5. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    There could be multiple perceptions of 'depression'.

    Sometimes, if that person had a past with a depressed family member or friend, it's usually not a very good one. It's usually very frustrating. So they may have a negative opinion of them like that. I know that in my family, alot of them are depressed, and some resort to stealing and the like t sustain themselves, or they'll mooch off other members of the family for a long time. So I can definitely see how it can be frustrating to some.

    Another way is that alot of depressed people are stamped 'Emo' immediately. While, being 'emo' is a joke, and just a wearing fad, there are people who actually have depression and issues with Self Harm. There's been a level of perversion with the way people view depressed people.

    Some people even look on people who have depression as people who are 'broken' or 'not as good' as everyone else. Everybody has different perspectives. It's a given everyone feels an amount of heartache to an extent, but alot of people don't understand that it's possible to live in such a place.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Depression is a taboo to so many people because it is so misunderstood. They also know it can happen to anyone and are afraid it could be them. They also are afraid of failure because there is nothing they can do to make it better. I hope that someday this will change. i don't know if it will ever be accepted though.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I agree with Aaron. Depression is one thing that you have to experience to truly understand it and be understanding to people who are experiencing it. I was never a cutter and I still can't understand why someone would purposely cut themselves. I would never be cruel or judgemental to someone who does this though.
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's a combination of things but one that strikes out is a lack of understanding.
  9. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Most people regard depression as just a way for people to whine or get attention.

    When happy people who live ordinary meaningful lives encounter a sad person who can't find a reason to exist.... it scares them. They get angry because apparently they are doing so good with their life others should be doing good too. To them there is no reason for depression.
  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Most ppl dislike the characteristics of others that they find weaknesses in themselves...when a person is depressed, ppl around him/her are confronted with having to deal with dire sadness and fragility...this forces a level of intraspection that many ppl are not willing to do...depression reminds ppl how very sad the world can be and how difficult it is for so many to navigate it...big hugs, J
  11. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    Depression is taboo. Once again our wonderful society and the wonderful societal stigmatization (dripping with sarcasm) says that people should not feel depressed. People should be happy at all times and if they are feeling bad to keep it to themselves and bottle up their emotions. That is why. People simply don't want to hear about other people's problems. Either because they have problems themselves or the most common reason that they are uncomfortable with people that are sad and depressed. It's a sad reality and hopefully the stigmatization will end.
  12. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    man i couldnt agree with you more. sometimes i think many people are unhappy but they avert thinking about it becuase of this. they go out and buy a new tv or get drunk instead
  13. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    It depends.

    If there is no initial connection, it is very hard to get to know a depressed person. Most of the time, they clearly don't want to talk with a stranger. They are nervous. They seem disinterested, aren't animated, etc etc. If you ask are they OK, since you are a stranger they inevitably say they are fine. So, you assume this is just how they are. This can easily turn to hate.

    However, if you already know someone - and they openly talk about depression. It can strengthen the relationship, since walls are brought down and the two of you are being honest.

    But when you first meet someone, since both are on guard, noone is ready to make such a step.
  14. ChillCash

    ChillCash Active Member


    a. they're attention whores

    b. they like the selfish gratification of trying to "cure others"
  15. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Most likely because they're depressed themselves and are (outwardly or completely) in denial of it. Just your expressing your thoughts and feelings reminds them of those same thoughts and feelings within themselves that they've tried to ignore or deny.

    Whatever part of those people it is that controls what they decide to do tells them they aren't depressed. But their true inner being knows the truth and it eats away at them. Probably for years. And every time they have to confront someone who is depressed or even the idea of depression, their defense mechanisms start to break down and that part of them that knows the truth has an opportunity to come out to play and they panic. They redirect the anger at someone else because people don't generally blame themselves for anything. Putting people who are depressed down or making fun of them or simply expressing hostility towards them reinforces that part of them that desperately needs to believe that they are not vulnerable and that they are strong.

    Basically, it's a mental block. Unfortunately, it's one that prevents empathy and does untold damage in the world. It doesn't only apply to depression but also just about any state of mind or being that is undesirable or unpopular.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2008
  16. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    I definetly agree with you about the origin, but it might not necesarily end in denial; it may be self-loathing. If they know they're depressed and they believe themselves to be weak because of it, naturaly they might take out their self-hatred on others who claim to be depressed. Y'know?
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