Why do we live?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PeeOnYou, Nov 10, 2007.

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  1. PeeOnYou

    PeeOnYou Member

    Maybe if I had an answer as to why I'm here I would be willing to go through the motions to achieve whatever purpose was in store for me. But there isn't such a thing. I look at people, day to day, my friends, my family, random strangers, and I always wonder what IS it that drives them to live?

    Why don't I have some pie in the sky ideal of why its great to live? Why must I view this as some incredibly weird experiment going on in the universe? How come I even question why I'm alive when animals go through their entire life oblivious to the question?

    Why do I rarely have any deep feelings besides disgust, sadness, and futility from day to day? How is it that other people can be so kind and caring and be willing to fight to the death over me, and when I think if the roles were reversed, I would be so willing to let them perish?

    How can people who starve from day to day still want to go on? How can someone who works 12 hour shifts or more in a factory day in and day out want to continue it? How is this life so worth living that people put up with that? I understand what I'm saying is pessimistic, but I don't understand how I could be anything different.

    I often think I should get an award for the superb acting I do from day to day, just to keep everyone else placated, and to keep myself free from a nuthouse. I wonder if others feel the same way, and if so, maybe they deserve the award because they're so much more convincing than I.

    I do not desire to live, and yet I've failed to end this twice out of pure fear that the second I leave, I may come right back to do it all over again. I also wait for that 'right moment' to attempt the suicide, being any time not near a birthday or holiday.... obviously I do care for some people around me, but I just wish I could say goodbye and everyone just understand and let me go.

    I have dreamt of suicide since I was even a little kid... back before I even knew what depression was, and for the most part was an extremely happy and lucky kid. But there's always been that part of me that doesn't understand this world and why I'm here, and that part has grown beyond all the other parts now.

    Why is it that we fight so hard to live even a shitty life?
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It's called survival. We are born with it. But our depression or what ever other mental health issue we must deal with, sometimes puts that instinct on the back burner for us. Yeah, I'm a hyprocrit. I feel the same way you do. But having to fight my demon tonight, I decided to try and reach out to a few others like me. I may not be able to change the world for you ( and I wish I could), but maybe by just reading this, you might stop and think about things a little differently. Even if only for a few seconds. Stop thinking so much about the world, and give yourself a break. Think about you for a while and rather than ask yourself questions, try and find some answers. Be safe.
     
  3. baofu

    baofu Active Member

    Why do we live?
    Because we choose to.
    You live because you want to.
    Or because you don't want to die. You're scared to face the void, also known as "Death".
    Try to apply doublethink to your, "I do not desire to live". Consciously you don't want to live, but unconciously you're grasping hope, because you know there's nothing more after death.
    If that doesn't work out for you as it does for me, refere to the "Eros" and "Thanatos" of Freud, or the "Instinct of self preservation".
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 11, 2007
  4. $MyName

    $MyName Well-Known Member

    When you find out, let me know.
     
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    We live because we consciously CHOOSE to accept the hand we have been dealt and do what we can to make it better. There is no complex, other-worldly answer to this question, just acceptance, searching, belief. If you can get out of your own head, realize that everyone goes through the same shit and refuse to go quietly, then you will start to dig yourself out of the hole (emotional, physical, mental) that you are in. Today, people spend too much time thinking about themselves, their problems, etc. Keep busy and when you start being negative, just shut it the fuck down and do something else. We have too much free time to sit and dwell on why we are unhappy, how we were treated unfairly, how other people have it all (they don't). Get up in the morning and do your shit and when you are done with the crap you hate, do something you like and then go to bed. Read a good book. Go camping. It sounds trite, but it really IS the little things that make us happy, so create your own happiness, don't expect it, and your life and your attitude will change for the better.
     
  6. dreamstar

    dreamstar Active Member

    I feel the same. I dont know why we live either. Or rather I dont know how anyone can enjoy this miserable experience. It feels all meaningless to me. I dont wanna die but I dont wanna live in a crappy world like this either. I dont see how anyone in their right mind can enjoy living in a place like this with all of the endless pain/problems and just the general hum-drum boredom of life. I dont see the point really. Just to be alive and conscious I guess. Hear some good music, watch a good tv show/movie, read a good book, hear the rain falling sweetly against your window pane, see the sun shining bright and pretty on a hot summer day, I dont know. I just go through the motions of life each day. Thats about all I can do for now. But eventually something has to give. Cant go on like this forever. But you know what, I dont think this is all there is. I think there is something much better than this up ahead and that belief gives me hope. I know there has got to be something much better than this crap we got now!

    sonia
     
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member


    Sorry to say but that does sound easier said than done,I have been trying to change thing's for that long but having Ocd and Bdd on top of depression is no easy feat.Also I'm still fighting on where as I could've been gone ages ago,Am I really trying to change thing's?Yes of course I am.
     
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